"Sharpen the Saw" - Getting Rid of the Clutter

I'm so excited! I have just spent the most productive two days – cleaning.  (I know, you are wondering how anyone could be excited about cleaning…)  I'm serious! I finally took time to clear my office of all the baggage I'd been hanging on to from my previous venture. (It’s only been six years!)  I tossed procedure manuals from the mid-nineties and training sessions on cassette tape. (I don’t even own a cassette player anymore!)  I cleared files that I haven’t looked at in six years, warranties for equipment that I don’t own anymore, stickers intended to go on prize posters I no longer have and monthly newsletters dating back to 1996. 

I reclaimed the space for my current business, and somehow it seems that I can suddenly breathe and think clearly about where I'm going and how to proceed with my goals.  I have space to work and blossom.  That is why cleaning can be so exciting!

In his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Steven Covey has listed those habits that he has found in common among highly successful people and ways that every one of us can emulate those same behaviors. The seventh of those habits encourages us to “sharpen the saw.”  In as much as he encourages us to include specific time in our schedules for what he calls "balanced self-renewal."  Periodically we have to regain what he calls “production capability” by taking time out for ourselves. 

While Covey recommends recreational activities, I believe sometimes a good liquidation is cathartic and does the trick.  I have found that physical clutter creates emotional clutter.  Sometimes sharpening the saw involves taking the time to clear the clutter - physically, emotional and mental.  Having taken the time to do this myself,  now I can focus on those things that will keep me on the High Road and take High Road Solutions where I want it go.  I can concentrate on how to reach more people and therefore have a stronger impact.

I encourage you to do the same. Is there clutter that is preventing you from being as productive and focused as you could be?  Are there things you are tripping over time and again because you refuse to see it or deal with it?  Is it physical clutter that needs to be gone through and purged?  Is it emotional baggage that is preventing you from fully committing to the High Road with both feet?  Is it mental haziness that can be clarified through mind-mapping or further research?  Taking the time to recognize these and clear them out will be a big step toward increasing your "production capability."

High Road challenge for the day: Identify the sources of clutter in your life’s endeavors and “sharpen the saw.”  Do so by liquidating, tossing, filing and streamlining - so that you can think clearly again and regain the High Road clarity you need to be productive and have the strongest impact.

Make my Day...

During my travels yesterday, I had a lay-over at Chicago O’Hare airport.  I sat down at a small table across from my gate to catch up on my email and await the boarding call.  There was a fellow sitting at the table next to me finishing off his burger and fries.  The lid on his soda must not have been on quite right, for as he got up to leave, the full soda cup came splashing to the ground leaving the lid still in his hand.  Luckily my suitcase and laptop bag were on the other side of me so I only suffered secondary splash on my jeans and boots.  The man offered apologies and said, “I guess I better go find a way to clean that up.”  He then headed off down the concourse not to be seen again.

Across the lane I saw a member of the Scrubs cleaning service shaking her head.  (I think it is a great marketing angle this company has, by the way.  They are called Scrubs.  All the members of their cleaning crew wear uniforms patterned to look like medical scrubs with name, “Scrubs” embroidered over the breast pocket… clever.)  The Scrubs gal brought her cleaning cart over and said, “… 'go find a way to clean that up'….. The man can see me standing right there!”

I smiled at her and said, “I’m not convinced that was his real intent as he left.”  This made her laugh.  Then I said, “I imagine it’s all too easy to feel invisible here, doing what you do among all the hubbub of travel.”

“You got that right,” she said as she continued working to clean up the spilled soda and dispose of the trash he had left on the table.

“Well I, for one, appreciate what you do.  I know that you and the rest of the ‘invisible’ cleaning crew work hard to keep this place clean.  That is not an easy job considering the sheer volume of people who come through here every day.  I appreciate it.”

“Well thank you very much!”  Her smile was beaming. “No one has ever said that to me before.  You just made my day.”  Her task was done at that point and she headed off to find the next mess to be cleaned up.

Actually, she had made my day.  Just seeing that smile explode across her face and the change in her gait as she walked away made a long day of travel seem all worth while.  I felt like I had been in the right place at the right time for the right reason – and I came out the beneficiary of the conversation.

High Road Challenge for the day:  Who are the seemingly invisible people around you today?  Is it the cleaning staff, or the fellow who comes in to maintain the plants in lobby?  Maybe it’s the security officer who screens your bag or the voice at the other end of the drive-through speaker.  Notice someone who is otherwise invisible and offer them appreciation for what they do to keep our lives humming along.  You'll be amazed at how much that blesses your day.

#Tiger Woods Apology

“If it is to be, it is up to me.” 

I can’t tell you how many times I repeated that to myself as I worked through my recovery from eating disorders.  This is the sentiment I heard from Tiger Woods in his statement this morning.

There has been so much speculation in the media of late about what seems to be a “sexy” or “intriguing” addiction: sex addiction.  Addiction is addiction and can focus on any focal point: alcohol, drugs, food, fame, sex.  There was also a great deal of speculation about what makes “a good apology.”  Good Morning America did a whole piece this morning about famous apologies of past. 

This is what I heard that gives me hope for the man (and I am paraphrasing sentiment here, not quoting):

1) It is MY fault.  I did it.  My behavior was wrong and I am responsible for it.

Recovering and taking the initial steps back up onto the High Road always begin with admitting total responsibility for your own actions.

2) I have come to recognize the importance of faith and will be relying on that faith.

As I mention in my book, faith MATTERS.  Believing in and relying on something that is greater than yourself is critical to climbing onto and staying on the High Road.

3) I have a long way to go and I am putting all my effort into continuing this journey.

He did not say, “I’m better now, let’s put all this behind us.”  Recovery is a process, not a destination, and the fact that he is going back into on-going treatment speaks volumes about his commitment to make it stick.

4) I am asking for forgiveness, and I am asking that each of you that I have disappointed try to find a way to believe in me again.

Recovery is a group effort.  No one does it alone.  Recognizing that he is not strong enough to pull this off on his own is important.

5) My apology to Elin will come not in words, but in my behavior as we move forward.

Recognizing this is HUGE.  One of the adages that I live by specifies, “What you are doing speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.”  Wood’s behavior from here forward will be the true barometer of his recovery.

There is no one currently on the planet that was born on the High Road.  Each person has to find their path there themselves. Furthermore, everyone falls off now and then, and has to atone for their mistakes.  Some are private slips from which one may easily recover.  Some are public, catastrophic, flaming nose-dives.   Whether large or small, true High Road role-models learn from those mistakes and climb back up onto the High Road stronger and better than before.

For Tiger Woods, time will tell.

High Road Diplomacy and Customer Service

My husband and I went out to dinner last night to celebrate our twenty-fifth Valentines Day together.  I recommended a restaurant that he had never been to.  He called to make a reservation and was advised that they don’t accept reservations and yes, they expected to be very busy.  For that reason we decided to go a bit earlier than we normally would.

When we arrived the gal at the door smiled up at us and said, “How many?” 

“Two, please.”

“Do you have a reservation?” she asked.

“No, we were told that you don’t accept reservations.”

“Well, I don’t know who would have told you that.  We’ll do our best to squeeze you in, it will probably be about 55 minutes,” she said as she handed me a pager.

55 minutes seemed reasonable on the Saturday before Valentines Day, so we sat down to “people-watch” and bide our time. About thirty minutes into our vigil, a trio of women sat down beside us and continued a heated discussion they were having about the projected wait time.  They had apparently arrived a half an hour before we had and their wait time kept growing each time they checked with the desk.  Hmmm, this didn’t bode well for our seating.  Shortly there after, one of the three had some extremely testy words with the manager and they were seated fairly quickly.

An hour and 15 minutes into our adventure, Ron got up to check with the desk.  She advised him that it would be another 15 to 20 minutes, but we were welcome to sit in the bar if we could find a seat there.  20 more minutes passed and I approached the desk to check one more time.

“Can you give me a realistic estimate of when a table will be available for Lauren-party-of-two?”

“Oh, it shouldn’t be much longer,” she smiled, “about another 15 – 20 minutes.”

It might have been the grimace on my face… I’m not sure… but the manager stepped in at that point.  “Hi, my name is Steve.  I’m the General Manager.  How can I help?”  I shared our dilemma with him.  “Ah, the challenge is fitting the walk-ins in with the reservations.  We guarantee seating within 10 minutes of a reservation time.”

“Here is my concern,” I said.  “When we called to make a reservation we were advised that you did not take reservations.  I have also heard several people discussing calling ahead to get their name on the list.  This possibility was not offered to us either when we called.”

“I am so sorry for this inconvenience,” he said.  “I can see why you might be frustrated.  Let me clarify our policies for you.  We do indeed accept reservations, and we normally accept same day reservations.  Today we had to cut off the reservations because there were so many.  I am sure that is what she meant when she said that we don’t take reservations.  We also do recommend calling ahead to get your name on our waiting list.”

“Ah,” I replied. “I believe there was just a fundamental break-down in communication.  Had it been explained to us in that manner when we called, we would have understood – and we probably would have made a different choice, at least for this very busy evening.”  Then I added, “I have eaten here for lunch several times and enjoyed it greatly.  That is why I recommended it to my husband who has never been here.”

Steve nodded, “I understand.”  He walked over to introduce himself to my husband and said, “Let me see what I can do to get you a table.”  We were seated within 2 minutes.  We had a wonderful dinner and Steve arranged for complimentary dessert.

I believe the whole encounter is an excellent lesson in High Road diplomacy and customer service.  My husband truly hates being a “squeaky wheel,” such as the grousing trio that had been sitting next to us – although it did get them a table immediately.  I chose a High Road solution and explained the reason for our concern and confusion.  I followed that with a “what’s in it for Steve” moment when I explained that I had recommended the restaurant to my husband.  The unspoken message was simply, “Is this the first impression you want him to have?”  I find High Road strategies to always be most effective.  (I would bet that the grumpy trio did not get a free dessert out of it.)  Furthermore, Steve’s customer service at that point was impeccable.  He saw a problem brewing and tackled it immediately.  He made us feel valued and respected, fixed the problem and then went the extra mile to leave a positive impression.  That is a model for exceptional, High Road customer service.

So here is a High Road shout-out to Steve Kyriazis and the Elephant Bar Restaurant in Overland Park, KS.  The food is excellent.  When you decide to go on a busy night... make sure you have reservations!

Lessons Learned from "Mindless" Entertainment

Last night my husband and I indulged in some seemingly “mindless” entertainment.  We stopped by the video store and picked up two comedies to sit and watch, whiling away the evening.  One of them was The Invention of Lying staring Ricky Gervais.  It’s a soft, sweet little romantic comedy, not side-splitting humor.  The story takes place in a world where no one is capable of lying.  Everyone always tells the truth, until one day a writer (Gervais) discovers “something that is not” coming out of his mouth and he decides to use this new found ability to lie for personal gain.  It would be largely forgettable except that as I watched I realized the movie highlights three profound life lessons. 

1) Always tell the truth – In the movie, as in real life, every lie that is told has to be remembered and backed up with other lies.  Often the character’s fabrications are well intentioned – as when, to ease his dying mother’s anxiety, he tells her that she will go to a wonderful place when she dies.  She will have a mansion and all the people she loves will be there with her. No one in this movie world had ever heard of Heaven, and therefore all believe that after death there is just "eternal nothingness."  The doctor and nurses in the room  believe him unconditionally, as does the rest of the world, and they want to know more about the “after place.”  Naturally it snowballs on him (because no one truly knows everything about Heaven and/or the afterlife), with comic results.  So it is in real life.  Even well-intentioned falsehoods compromise our integrity.  When you tell a lie, you have to remember what you told to whom, and perpetuate the fabrication.  That just takes too much gray matter and invariably the truth comes out.  When it does, it's profoundly difficult to rebuild any credibility.  Always tell the truth.

2) Remember the “Thumper Rule” – Much of the humor we found in the movie came in the form of the true, but often unkind things that came out of the character’s mouths.  Because the people in this fictional world are incapable of lying they say whatever they are thinking and/or feeling, which is often negative.  From a viewer’s standpoint, it was funny. (I especially liked the name blazoned across the top of the old-folk’s home, “A sad place where hopeless old people live.”)  Apparently no one in this world has heard of the Thumper Rule (so dubbed because the first time I heard it was out of the mouth of Thumper in the movie Bambi).  “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”  In the real world we are all wise to remember the Thumper Rule and avoid saying something hurtful or negative.

3) Everyone is more than what they appear on the outside – The writer’s love interest in the movie is portrayed by Jennifer Garner.  For much of the movie she comes off as quite shallow, as she pursues her perfect genetic match so she can have genetically perfect children.  While Gervais' character is her best friend, and she finds him fun to be with, she outright rejects him as a potential husband and mate solely on the basis of his looks, fearing (in her words) “short, fat children with stubby noses.”    For that reason she refuses to allow herself to see that being with him makes her happy.  Unfortunately most of the characters are focused on such external characteristics.  The writer tries to point out the other side, the internal characteristics of people to broaden her vision.  Eventually, of course, she has an epiphany and decides that he is all she wants and needs and they live happily ever after.  In real life it is all too easy for us to focus on the external.  That might be someone’s good-looks, a well-formed physique, the size of one’s bank account or other superficial factors. What REALLY matters is what’s on the inside, someone’s character and how they decide to utilize that to serve other people.

These three lessons highlight characteristics of High Road thinking.

• Always tell the truth - it is easier, and the right thing to do.  The truth never changes.
• Throughout any conversation, continually ask yourself, "Is what I'm about to say true, kind and necessary."  That is a good barometer for the "Thumper Rule."
• Always look deeper than surface level for the inner beauty that we all possess.  Look for the gifts that are unique in each and every person.

Following these three rules will give you a leg up to the High Road and, ultimately, to success.