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I am an addict – I admit it. I am addicted to the television show The Amazing Race. I am not a big fan of most reality shows, but I LOVE The Amazing Race. I love seeing the different locations they travel to and the tasks teams are required to perform to get the next clue. The “detours” and “roadblocks” are never degrading and usually tied into the culture of the country or city they are in. I find it entertaining and educational simultaneously. As I have watched this show over the last 11 seasons (I didn’t discover it until season 5), I have noticed certain characteristics that separate successful teams from those that fall early in the competition. Furthermore, I believe these same characteristics are essential in our daily lives. These are the lessons I have learned from watching The Amazing Race:
Respectful communication is critical – The ability to communicate effectively and respectfully with their partner and others is perhaps the most important characteristic of successful Race teams. Every season there are a few teams that lack this essential element. Under the stress of the race (which can be extreme) these teams often spiral into petty bickering (at best) or (at worst) name calling and screaming. Forward progress usually stops until the bickering and name calling subsides. Furthermore, teams that snipe at other teams often earn a target on their back which can have calamitous results. Those teams that choose to communicate respectfully are able to avoid such delays and U-turns, and often end up in the top three, running for a million dollars.
Maintain emotional control – If you are not in emotional control, you are completely ineffective. Every season there are some classic emotional meltdowns. Again, any forward progress stops until the contestant can “pull it together” and focus back on task. This evening’s episode is a prime example. While teams were assembling a very large, 96-piece puzzle in Shanghai, China, the wind kicked up and blew puzzle pieces everywhere. While the model-team’s Brent stormed and fumed about how he had almost completed the puzzle before the wind messed it up – the cowboy-team’s, Cord went to work anchoring the remaining pieces down with folding chairs. In the “confessional” shot that aired at that moment he said, “Throwing a fit and kicking and screaming wasn’t gonna get my puzzle done.” That calm demeanor has served this cowboy team very well, as they have arrived first at the pit-stop more than any other team this season – even going from last place to first, which was the only time that has happened thus far in race history.
Pay attention to detail – Every season there are turning points when, in their haste, a team has missed an important part of their clue or instruction. Maybe they took a taxi to the pit-stop when the clue said to take the bus; or having completed the detour or road-block they have grabbed their clue and ran, forgetting their back-packs and their passports. Each time one of these teams misses an instruction they are assessed a time penalty that must be waited out before they can be checked in at the pit-stop. Many times this results in the team being eliminated. The aforementioned cowboy-team’s last place finish in leg 7 of this season happened for that reason They missed a key part of the clue and had to go back to complete the task before being checked in. Luckily for them it was a non-elimination round. The old adage of “haste makes waste” is viable here. Teams that take the time to fully read the clue over to make sure they understand all facets of the instructions do not end up with time penalties.
Maintain a positive attitude and never quit – Rarely do teams know exactly where they stand in relation to other teams during any particular leg of the race. Even if a team believes they are in last place at the time, there could very possibly be extenuating circumstances are “great equalizers” that they are not aware of. Therefore being willing to stick-to-it with a positive attitude is essential. Last season one of the strongest teams was the Harlem Globetrotter team of “Flight Time” and “Big Easy.” They were fan favorites until one of the last episodes when they made a decision to give up on a roadblock and not complete the task. This caused them to incur a 4 hour penalty and subsequently be eliminated from the race. Many times teams have worked long hours to complete a task and been retrieved from the field by the host, Phil Koeghan. The fact that they did not give up on the task until it was obvious that they were last, and therefore eliminated is admirable. Just as often teams have run to the finish line, certain that they are the last to arrive, to find out that there are other teams still behind them. The only certain way to lose the race is to quit.
Keep it all in perspective – Every season has several tasks or moments that my family refers to as “great equalizers.” Perhaps, regardless of when they leave the pit-stop (the first team to arrive is the first team to leave and therefore has a time advantage), all teams end up on the same flight to their new destination. This makes it a brand new race when the plane lands. Maybe the clue is located inside a museum that doesn’t open until 10:00 a.m. That means that whether teams arrive at the museum at midnight or 9:58 a.m. they all have to wait until the museum opens and again it is a brand new race. Great equalizers might be tasks that, for whatever reason, are incredibly difficult for the first place team, but the last place team breezes through it and catapults themselves into first. Sometimes the strongest teams have fallen to a great equalizer and there is nothing that can be done about it. As each team falls, they lose a chance to race on the final leg for a million dollars. None-the-less, they got a chance to travel the world and experience things that some of us only dream about – things that perhaps they would never have had an opportunity to experience. That is a blessing in itself. It is important to keep all things in perspective.
High Road Challenge for the Week: Our daily lives are not as adrenaline packed as the 12-15 days the teams experience on The Amazing Race. Still, these characteristics are just as critical to our daily success as they are to the Amazing Race teams. My challenge to you this week is to communicate respectfully, maintain emotional control, pay attention to detail, maintain a positive attitude, never quit and keep it all in perspective.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
There are Three Sides to Every Story
Because of my speaking business, I travel a great deal. Sometimes it is pleasant and exciting, sometimes it is not. I have learned over the years to go with the flow and not get too stressed about any “travel hiccups” that may occur. My traveling actually gives me an incredible opportunity to watch people.
This past week I observed a situation that brought to mind my belief that there are three sides to every story: yours, mine and the truth. While waiting to board a plane in Philadelphia I struck up a conversation with a man whose flight itinerary was identical to mine. We were both heading home to Kansas City, through Cleveland. We exchanged the pleasantries of what we each do for a living and surface level discussions of our favorite (or least favorite) sports teams. He boarded the plane before I did as I was seated in the very first row.
Once in Cleveland we ended up in step with each other again, heading for our connecting gate and he was eager to get my opinion of the flight attendant on the previous flight.
“Boy, that gal sure could have used some of your communication training, eh?”
I thought I knew what he probably meant, but I wanted to be sure. “How so?”
“Well she sure wouldn’t get a tip in a restaurant. In fact, she was a down right (expletive deleted).”
Now, this gal was not in anyway soft and cuddly to begin with. She had a heavy Brooklyn accent and her speech patterns were fast and clipped. Being farther back on the plane, though, he did not have the benefit of the knowledge I had.
Sitting as I was in the very first row, I overheard a telephone conversation the flight attendant had just before closing the cabin door. Her 16 year old son had called her – it appeared that this was his first faux pas. The conversation went downhill from there. He apparently had taken their only car to run an errand that day and something had happened to it. I am not clear on those details. The point of the conversation though was that this young man had called a friend to pick him up and left the car on the side of the road from where it was apparently towed. He had gone back with his friend to retrieve something from the vehicle and it was no longer there. He had no idea where the car was at that point.
The flight attendant was beside herself. “Do you have any IDEA what towing in the city costs? I don’t have that kind of money and neither do you.” She expressed to him, quite forcefully, that he had better find out where the car had been towed and what it was going to take to get the car back. She would call him when we landed in Cleveland and he had better have some answers by then. We commiserated a bit, she and I, about how our kids “just don’t get it” and about how tight finances are for all of us.
I shared this information with the man as we walked to our connecting gate. I said, “Can you imagine having to focus on taking care of us, while worrying about how much the towing and citation is going to cost her? I think that may have something to do with her clipped tone.”
“Wow,” he said, “I had no idea. I’d kill the kid.” (I’m sure he wasn’t serious.) “I sure hope it doesn’t cost her an arm and a leg.”
Suddenly the man had empathy for the flight attendant, rather than being so quick to label her derogatorily.
There is an old Hopi adage that my mother used to share with me: “One can’t truly know a man until he has walked a mile in that man’s moccasins.” My spontaneous traveling partner for the trip simply needed to step into the flight attendant’s shoes for a moment to be able to forgive her seemingly poor customer service.
Several of the blogs I subscribe to have recently been bemoaning poor customer service. Without a doubt, customer service is important. I would be eager to share with my colleagues (and indeed have to two of them) that the cause of that customer service may be deeper than a perceived lack of work ethic. Perhaps walking a mile in their shoes would reveal that.
There are three sides to every story. The man’s side: he received service on the flight that was surly at best. The flight attendant’s side: she was totally overwhelmed by the thought of the impending expense and her son’s incredible lack of responsibility. The truth of the matter during that flight lays somewhere between these two realities.
High Road Challenge for the Day: The next time you receive poor customer service, ask yourself the question, “What might have happened just before I arrived, that would cause this poor service?” It may need to be a hypothetical question. If convenient and appropriate, you might ask, in a respectful manner. “You know, the service I received today is not up to the standard that I have come to expect from you (this establishment). Tell me, is there something distracting you today?” Endeavor to walk a mile in their shoes so you can see the other two sides of the story.
This past week I observed a situation that brought to mind my belief that there are three sides to every story: yours, mine and the truth. While waiting to board a plane in Philadelphia I struck up a conversation with a man whose flight itinerary was identical to mine. We were both heading home to Kansas City, through Cleveland. We exchanged the pleasantries of what we each do for a living and surface level discussions of our favorite (or least favorite) sports teams. He boarded the plane before I did as I was seated in the very first row.
Once in Cleveland we ended up in step with each other again, heading for our connecting gate and he was eager to get my opinion of the flight attendant on the previous flight.
“Boy, that gal sure could have used some of your communication training, eh?”
I thought I knew what he probably meant, but I wanted to be sure. “How so?”
“Well she sure wouldn’t get a tip in a restaurant. In fact, she was a down right (expletive deleted).”
Now, this gal was not in anyway soft and cuddly to begin with. She had a heavy Brooklyn accent and her speech patterns were fast and clipped. Being farther back on the plane, though, he did not have the benefit of the knowledge I had.
Sitting as I was in the very first row, I overheard a telephone conversation the flight attendant had just before closing the cabin door. Her 16 year old son had called her – it appeared that this was his first faux pas. The conversation went downhill from there. He apparently had taken their only car to run an errand that day and something had happened to it. I am not clear on those details. The point of the conversation though was that this young man had called a friend to pick him up and left the car on the side of the road from where it was apparently towed. He had gone back with his friend to retrieve something from the vehicle and it was no longer there. He had no idea where the car was at that point.
The flight attendant was beside herself. “Do you have any IDEA what towing in the city costs? I don’t have that kind of money and neither do you.” She expressed to him, quite forcefully, that he had better find out where the car had been towed and what it was going to take to get the car back. She would call him when we landed in Cleveland and he had better have some answers by then. We commiserated a bit, she and I, about how our kids “just don’t get it” and about how tight finances are for all of us.
I shared this information with the man as we walked to our connecting gate. I said, “Can you imagine having to focus on taking care of us, while worrying about how much the towing and citation is going to cost her? I think that may have something to do with her clipped tone.”
“Wow,” he said, “I had no idea. I’d kill the kid.” (I’m sure he wasn’t serious.) “I sure hope it doesn’t cost her an arm and a leg.”
Suddenly the man had empathy for the flight attendant, rather than being so quick to label her derogatorily.
There is an old Hopi adage that my mother used to share with me: “One can’t truly know a man until he has walked a mile in that man’s moccasins.” My spontaneous traveling partner for the trip simply needed to step into the flight attendant’s shoes for a moment to be able to forgive her seemingly poor customer service.
Several of the blogs I subscribe to have recently been bemoaning poor customer service. Without a doubt, customer service is important. I would be eager to share with my colleagues (and indeed have to two of them) that the cause of that customer service may be deeper than a perceived lack of work ethic. Perhaps walking a mile in their shoes would reveal that.
There are three sides to every story. The man’s side: he received service on the flight that was surly at best. The flight attendant’s side: she was totally overwhelmed by the thought of the impending expense and her son’s incredible lack of responsibility. The truth of the matter during that flight lays somewhere between these two realities.
High Road Challenge for the Day: The next time you receive poor customer service, ask yourself the question, “What might have happened just before I arrived, that would cause this poor service?” It may need to be a hypothetical question. If convenient and appropriate, you might ask, in a respectful manner. “You know, the service I received today is not up to the standard that I have come to expect from you (this establishment). Tell me, is there something distracting you today?” Endeavor to walk a mile in their shoes so you can see the other two sides of the story.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Can you SEE it? Success is between your ears!
Several years ago I had the opportunity to interview a woman who had been crowned the Queen of Recruiting for her division in Mary Kay Cosmetics that year. That was quite an accomplishment for her – one that she had been working toward for many years. Part of her recognition at the annual awards convention was concentrated stage time for both her and her family, as well as roughly 15 carats worth of diamond jewelry. I wanted to pick her brain and find out every secret she had to share with me about achieving one’s goals.
Before we dug into the details of how she did it, I wanted to know what it felt like to be on stage and sit on that throne with 20,000 people applauding you. “It actually wasn’t that big a deal that night,” she said, “because I have ‘lived’ it so many times in my head. For over three years I have visualized every minute detail of the award’s ceremony. I knew the color of dress I would wear and how I would fix my hair. I saw myself escorted down the long stairway as a member of the top three. At the foot of the stairs, I saw myself greeted by my National Sales Director and brought down to center stage. I knew exactly what it would look like gazing out over the arena as they called the second runner-up’s name (not mine), and then the first runner-up’s name (also not mine).” She went on to share her visualization with me down to the finest detail. Then she said, “I believe that is the reason I actually achieved it – because I could see it. Of course I worked hard to get there, but equally important was the fact that I could believe it, because I could see it.”
Last week I shared with you the need for CLEAR goals. A second, equally important factor in the process of achieving those goals is the ability to visualize them. You must be able to see yourself accomplishing them. I often quote Dr. Stephen Covey, who wrote The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. With his habit number two, Covey encourages us to “begin with the end in mind.” This is so important because if you don’t know where you are going you won’t know how to get there. Furthermore, if you don’t know where you are going, you won’t know when you’ve arrived!
High Road challenge for the day: As you establish your goals, take the time to dream and conjure up a mental picture of what it will be like when you achieve it. What will it look like, feel like, sound like, and smell like? Create a mental movie for yourself, directing it the way you want it to be. You can begin broadly. Then each time you play the movie for yourself you can add detail to it. Take time every day to envision your success. Play the movie for yourself every morning, so it is the first thing your subconscious focuses on to begin your day. Play it again for yourself each night before you go to bed, so it is the last thing your subconscious focuses on before you go to sleep. Visualizing your goals as already achieved is a critical factor in actually achieving them.
Man can only receive what he sees himself receiving. - Florence Scovel Shinn
Before we dug into the details of how she did it, I wanted to know what it felt like to be on stage and sit on that throne with 20,000 people applauding you. “It actually wasn’t that big a deal that night,” she said, “because I have ‘lived’ it so many times in my head. For over three years I have visualized every minute detail of the award’s ceremony. I knew the color of dress I would wear and how I would fix my hair. I saw myself escorted down the long stairway as a member of the top three. At the foot of the stairs, I saw myself greeted by my National Sales Director and brought down to center stage. I knew exactly what it would look like gazing out over the arena as they called the second runner-up’s name (not mine), and then the first runner-up’s name (also not mine).” She went on to share her visualization with me down to the finest detail. Then she said, “I believe that is the reason I actually achieved it – because I could see it. Of course I worked hard to get there, but equally important was the fact that I could believe it, because I could see it.”
Last week I shared with you the need for CLEAR goals. A second, equally important factor in the process of achieving those goals is the ability to visualize them. You must be able to see yourself accomplishing them. I often quote Dr. Stephen Covey, who wrote The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. With his habit number two, Covey encourages us to “begin with the end in mind.” This is so important because if you don’t know where you are going you won’t know how to get there. Furthermore, if you don’t know where you are going, you won’t know when you’ve arrived!
High Road challenge for the day: As you establish your goals, take the time to dream and conjure up a mental picture of what it will be like when you achieve it. What will it look like, feel like, sound like, and smell like? Create a mental movie for yourself, directing it the way you want it to be. You can begin broadly. Then each time you play the movie for yourself you can add detail to it. Take time every day to envision your success. Play the movie for yourself every morning, so it is the first thing your subconscious focuses on to begin your day. Play it again for yourself each night before you go to bed, so it is the last thing your subconscious focuses on before you go to sleep. Visualizing your goals as already achieved is a critical factor in actually achieving them.
Man can only receive what he sees himself receiving. - Florence Scovel Shinn
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