Do You Demand Respect or Earn it?

       
During a series of presentations I did this past week, I became engaged in two discussions on separate sides of the same issue.  On the first day I was presenting to general staff members and on the second to the organization’s leadership team.  The point that came up in both conversations was that of someone demanding respect, rather than earning it.  On the first day I had several staff members who felt they could not respect their manager for various and sundry reasons.   On the second, I had a manager (yes, the same manager) who felt their staff was not respectful to them as a supervisor.

I have often encountered persons in management who assume that respect should come automatically as a result of their position.  This is a short-sighted leadership vision.  Positional respect is shallow and temporary.  Meaningful respect does not come by virtue of the position one holds.  True, significant respect must be earned.

I admonished the staff members on the first day to treat their manager with respect, regardless of whether they feel any actual respect for the person.  Furthermore I encouraged them to re-open their minds and acknowledge what their manager is doing well.  I suggested they give their manager the opportunity to earn their respect from here forward.

Here is the essence of the recommendations I made to the manager as to how they could begin earning the respect of their staff:

•    Pillars of Serenity – most specifically the respect pillar.  In order to be respected, we must first treat others with respect – regardless of whether we like what they think, say or do.  Lead by example on this and model the respectful behavior you wish they would exhibit.

•    Maintain integrity – Do what is right every time, because it’s right – whether anyone is looking or not.  There is no fudging on this.

•    Educate yourself daily – Once we stop learning we start dying.  You don’t have to know everything.  You do have to stay on top of trends, legalities and changes in your organization and industry.

•    Delegate to capable others – Allow your staff to take on responsibilities that give them opportunity for growth.  Once you have delegated, give them the space and authority to carry out those tasks.  Do not micro-manage.

•    Allow them to shine – Be willing to step aside and let your staff shine.  Sometimes it’s a leader’s job to stand in the shadows and allow the spotlight to focus on their team.

•    Be supportive, not competitive – Offer support, mentoring and encouragement to others.  You’re in the position you hold because someone supported and mentored you.  Give back to others in kind.  Their success does not discount you or your success in any way.


These are initial steps that can be taken to begin earning respect from your team.  I’m interested in hearing from others.  What do you find important factors in earning respect?