Is My Office-Mate an Alien?

                                                  
“It’s like my office-mate is a Martian or something,” was the lament of the gal in the third row. “We just never seem to be speaking the same language.”



Chances are, her office-mate is not an extra-terrestrial. They just aren’t synchronized in their communication.


I’ve expressed before that our goal as High Road communicators is to allow all people to feel comfortable and respected in our presence, while standing our own ground and getting our message across. With that goal in mind, then our job is to meet who we are communicating with at his or her comfort zone, not assume they are going to meet us at ours – or even meet us half way.  Adapting in this way allows us to offer information in a manner that is easy for the recipient to absorb and act upon, keeping us in sync more often.


Flexing ourselves to someone else’s communication comfort zone is a skill that can be developed and honed. I encourage you (just as I encouraged that gal in the third row) to begin by focusing on the following questions:


• Is this person a morning person or an afternoon person? Try to have the most important and meaningful conversations during their peak periods, when they are firing on all mental cylinders.


• Is this person naturally fast paced or more methodical? Mirror their pace in your communication. If they are naturally face paced, speed up, cut to the chase, summarize first. If they are naturally more methodical than you are, slow it down so they can absorb and process what you are saying at their own speed.


• Is this person relationship oriented or results oriented? You will want to focus on either the personal aspects of the subject or merely the facts depending on which way they naturally lean.


• What generation does this person fall into? For the first time in American history there are four generations in the workforce, and each generation has different emotional drivers. Do your research and adapt your communication to fill the generation-related motivational needs of the recipient.


• Does this person have masculine or feminine communication tendencies? Those with masculine communication characteristics tend to “report” – to give or get information. They talk about facts. Those with feminine characteristics communicate to build rapport and strengthen relationships. They talk about feelings. Flex yourself to their gender style when necessary.


• Is this person under undue pressure or on deadline? Be respectful of their work load and deadlines, as you would want them to be of yours.


This communication flexing may seem cumbersome at first, but the beneficial results make it well worth the effort. With practice it becomes easier and you will find yourself adapting automatically without thinking about it.