What can we learn from the Amazing Race?

I am an addict – I admit it.  I am addicted to the television show The Amazing Race.  I am not a big fan of most reality shows, but I LOVE The Amazing Race.  I love seeing the different locations they travel to and the tasks teams are required to perform to get the next clue.  The “detours” and “roadblocks” are never degrading and usually tied into the culture of the country or city they are in.  I find it entertaining and educational simultaneously.  As I have watched this show over the last 11 seasons (I didn’t discover it until season 5), I have noticed certain characteristics that separate successful teams from those that fall early in the competition.  Furthermore, I believe these same characteristics are essential in our daily lives.  These are the lessons I have learned from watching The Amazing Race:

Respectful communication is critical – The ability to communicate effectively and respectfully with their partner and others is perhaps the most important characteristic of successful Race teams.  Every season there are a few teams that lack this essential element.  Under the stress of the race (which can be extreme) these teams often spiral into petty bickering (at best) or (at worst) name calling and screaming.  Forward progress usually stops until the bickering and name calling subsides.  Furthermore, teams that snipe at other teams often earn a target on their back which can have calamitous results.  Those teams that choose to communicate respectfully are able to avoid such delays and U-turns, and often end up in the top three, running for a million dollars. 

Maintain emotional control – If you are not in emotional control, you are completely ineffective.  Every season there are some classic emotional meltdowns.  Again, any forward progress stops until the contestant can “pull it together” and focus back on task.  This evening’s episode is a prime example.  While teams were assembling a very large, 96-piece puzzle in Shanghai, China, the wind kicked up and blew puzzle pieces everywhere.  While the model-team’s Brent stormed and fumed about how he had almost completed the puzzle before the wind messed it up – the cowboy-team’s, Cord went to work anchoring the remaining pieces down with folding chairs.  In the “confessional” shot that aired at that moment he said, “Throwing a fit and kicking and screaming wasn’t gonna get my puzzle done.”  That calm demeanor has served this cowboy team very well, as they have arrived first at the pit-stop more than any other team this season – even going from last place to first, which was the only time that has happened thus far in race history.

Pay attention to detail – Every season there are turning points when, in their haste, a team has missed an important part of their clue or instruction.  Maybe they took a taxi to the pit-stop when the clue said to take the bus; or having completed the detour or road-block they have grabbed their clue and ran, forgetting their back-packs and their passports.  Each time one of these teams misses an instruction they are assessed a time penalty that must be waited out before they can be checked in at the pit-stop.  Many times this results in the team being eliminated.  The aforementioned cowboy-team’s last place finish in leg 7 of this season happened for that reason  They missed a key part of the clue and had to go back to complete the task before being checked in.  Luckily for them it was a non-elimination round. The old adage of “haste makes waste” is viable here. Teams that take the time to fully read the clue over to make sure they understand all facets of the instructions do not end up with time penalties.

Maintain a positive attitude and never quit – Rarely do teams know exactly where they stand in relation to other teams during any particular leg of the race.  Even if a team believes they are in last place at the time, there could very possibly be extenuating circumstances are “great equalizers” that they are not aware of.  Therefore being willing to stick-to-it with a positive attitude is essential.  Last season one of the strongest teams was the Harlem Globetrotter team of “Flight Time” and “Big Easy.”  They were fan favorites until one of the last episodes when they made a decision to give up on a roadblock and not complete the task.  This caused them to incur a 4 hour penalty and subsequently be eliminated from the race.  Many times teams have worked long hours to complete a task and been retrieved from the field by the host, Phil Koeghan.  The fact that they did not give up on the task until it was obvious that they were last, and therefore eliminated is admirable.  Just as often teams have run to the finish line, certain that they are the last to arrive, to find out that there are other teams still behind them.  The only certain way to lose the race is to quit.

Keep it all in perspective – Every season has several tasks or moments that my family refers to as “great equalizers.”  Perhaps, regardless of when they leave the pit-stop (the first team to arrive is the first team to leave and therefore has a time advantage), all teams end up on the same flight to their new destination.  This makes it a brand new race when the plane lands.  Maybe the clue is located inside a museum that doesn’t open until 10:00 a.m.  That means that whether teams arrive at the museum at midnight or 9:58 a.m. they all have to wait until the museum opens and again it is a brand new race.  Great equalizers might be tasks that, for whatever reason, are incredibly difficult for the first place team, but the last place team breezes through it and catapults themselves into first.  Sometimes the strongest teams have fallen to a great equalizer and there is nothing that can be done about it.  As each team falls, they lose a chance to race on the final leg for a million dollars.  None-the-less, they got a chance to travel the world and experience things that some of us only dream about – things that perhaps they would never have had an opportunity to experience.  That is a blessing in itself.   It is important to keep all things in perspective.


High Road Challenge for the Week: Our daily lives are not as adrenaline packed as the 12-15 days the teams experience on The Amazing Race.  Still, these characteristics are just as critical to our daily success as they are to the Amazing Race teams.  My challenge to you this week is to communicate respectfully, maintain emotional control, pay attention to detail, maintain a positive attitude, never quit and keep it all in perspective.

#Tiger Woods Apology

“If it is to be, it is up to me.” 

I can’t tell you how many times I repeated that to myself as I worked through my recovery from eating disorders.  This is the sentiment I heard from Tiger Woods in his statement this morning.

There has been so much speculation in the media of late about what seems to be a “sexy” or “intriguing” addiction: sex addiction.  Addiction is addiction and can focus on any focal point: alcohol, drugs, food, fame, sex.  There was also a great deal of speculation about what makes “a good apology.”  Good Morning America did a whole piece this morning about famous apologies of past. 

This is what I heard that gives me hope for the man (and I am paraphrasing sentiment here, not quoting):

1) It is MY fault.  I did it.  My behavior was wrong and I am responsible for it.

Recovering and taking the initial steps back up onto the High Road always begin with admitting total responsibility for your own actions.

2) I have come to recognize the importance of faith and will be relying on that faith.

As I mention in my book, faith MATTERS.  Believing in and relying on something that is greater than yourself is critical to climbing onto and staying on the High Road.

3) I have a long way to go and I am putting all my effort into continuing this journey.

He did not say, “I’m better now, let’s put all this behind us.”  Recovery is a process, not a destination, and the fact that he is going back into on-going treatment speaks volumes about his commitment to make it stick.

4) I am asking for forgiveness, and I am asking that each of you that I have disappointed try to find a way to believe in me again.

Recovery is a group effort.  No one does it alone.  Recognizing that he is not strong enough to pull this off on his own is important.

5) My apology to Elin will come not in words, but in my behavior as we move forward.

Recognizing this is HUGE.  One of the adages that I live by specifies, “What you are doing speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.”  Wood’s behavior from here forward will be the true barometer of his recovery.

There is no one currently on the planet that was born on the High Road.  Each person has to find their path there themselves. Furthermore, everyone falls off now and then, and has to atone for their mistakes.  Some are private slips from which one may easily recover.  Some are public, catastrophic, flaming nose-dives.   Whether large or small, true High Road role-models learn from those mistakes and climb back up onto the High Road stronger and better than before.

For Tiger Woods, time will tell.