Posts
Showing posts with label clarity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clarity. Show all posts
Sunday, January 2, 2011
2011 - I'm Resolved, Are You?
2010 has passed into memory now and we are two days into 2011. It is customary at the onset of a new year to reflect on the one just expired and establish resolutions for the one that stretches before us.
I have been asked several times in the past 48 hours what my resolutions for the new year might be. While I have never actually put much stock into verbalizing resolutions just because it is the beginning of a new year, the question has caused me to think about my continuing personal growth. Therefore, as I endeavor to grow in specific areas over the next year, I encourage you to join me and:
• Focus on your strengths
So much of our time is spent dwelling on our weaknesses and what we don’t do well. Instead, I encourage you to focus on what you are proficient at, your core-competency. Everyone has their talents and strengths – unique to themselves. Focus on those and delegate that which you don’t do well to capable others.
• Ask questions
We have all heard the adage regarding how to break down the word “assume.” Asking questions to clarify understanding prevents misunderstandings and misinterpretations and also reduces conflict. It's especially valuable to ask questions rather than presuming another’s intentions or motivations. Furthermore clarifying your understanding can save a great deal of time so often wasted when one proceeds on assumptions.
• Admit when you are wrong
When used in this order, “I was wrong,” are three of the most valuable words in High Road communication. Rather than indicating weakness – recognizing, owning up to and admitting when you are wrong is both a sign of character and a High Road mentality.
• Give up to go up
As Dr. John C. Maxwell shares with us in his book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, you have to give up to go up. (Law #18 – The Law of Sacrifice) Many times it is necessary to give up what is secure, stable and, perhaps, stagnant to grow in areas that are riskier but may have a larger return in the long run.
• Find opportunity in crisis
It is so easy, especially in this uncertain time and economy, to see potential doom in a bad turn of events. I encourage you to start thinking outside the gloom and ask yourself, “How can this potential obstacle be turned into an opportunity?”
I think that is a healthy amount of paradigm shift for the beginning of my year. I am curious, what will YOU be focusing on for your personal growth as we enthusiastically embrace 2011? Please enter your responses in the comments section, where they can inspire and motivate other readers to find their High Road Solutions for 2011.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Releasing Perfectionism
“Lauren, I was in the audience at your presentation last week. You said something that caused me to write a note in the margin of my notebook: ‘release perfectionism.’ This is something that I really struggle with and I know my perfectionism paralyzes me sometimes. You seem to have managed your perfectionism. Can you tell me how you do it?” Sandra O.
Sandra,
This is such a timely question for me! I was discussing this subject with one of my mentors just this week.
I have certainly struggled (and still struggle) the paralysis that often accompanies perfectionism. I’ve felt conflicted by competing influences – one that says “It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be done,” – another that says “If it’s not done right, why are you doing it at all?” (Sometimes those influences are external - sometimes they are internal.) “Managing” our perfectionism is an on-going process for those of us plagued with the perfection virus.
So let’s start with a baseline premise. I would venture to say that as a perfectionist, your perception of “acceptable” or “adequate” is often what others would consider “well done.” (I understand that we of this ilk would often rather be dead than “adequate,” but follow me on this…) So if your “adequate” matches others’ “well done,” nine times out of ten, by your very nature, you are inherently producing a quality result.
Here are other factors that help me on an on-going basis:
• Pillars of Serenity – In Road Signs on the High Road of Life, I introduced the concept of the two Pillars of Serenity that keep us grounded and peaceful in our daily walk, one being your own self-esteem, the other being respect to all people. The pillar most relevant for this discussion is self-esteem. We perfectionists tend to place our value in the quality of, or others’ perception of, the quality of our work. It’s crucial to remember that your value is inherent in the fact that you exist. It’s not in any way related to the work you do.
• Settle for excellence – Even though we strive for perfection, we understand that achieving it is impossible. Therefore, it’s important to settle for and accept excellence as an alternative.
• Internal dialog – I have found that we perfectionists are some of the only people capable of stealing our own joy. Regardless of how amazing our performance might have been, we always tell ourselves, “I could have done it better.” Instead, it’s important to shift that mental dialog to something like “I did an excellent job.”
• Growth framework – You could have always “done it better” – because in truth no one is perfect. Yet, with every effort you are getting better. Perfectionists rarely, if ever, make the same mistake twice, so with every effort you are growing and improving. As long as you are growing and improving, then with every effort you are on target for that perfection you desire. Allowing yourself to be on target for perfection gives you a mental framework wherein you can always feel good about yourself. Make sure you allow yourself that mental framework.
These are some of the things I focus on to assist me in working through my perfectionism. I’m interested to hear from others. What factors help you in overcoming perfectionism paralysis?
Sandra,
This is such a timely question for me! I was discussing this subject with one of my mentors just this week.
I have certainly struggled (and still struggle) the paralysis that often accompanies perfectionism. I’ve felt conflicted by competing influences – one that says “It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be done,” – another that says “If it’s not done right, why are you doing it at all?” (Sometimes those influences are external - sometimes they are internal.) “Managing” our perfectionism is an on-going process for those of us plagued with the perfection virus.
So let’s start with a baseline premise. I would venture to say that as a perfectionist, your perception of “acceptable” or “adequate” is often what others would consider “well done.” (I understand that we of this ilk would often rather be dead than “adequate,” but follow me on this…) So if your “adequate” matches others’ “well done,” nine times out of ten, by your very nature, you are inherently producing a quality result.
Here are other factors that help me on an on-going basis:
• Pillars of Serenity – In Road Signs on the High Road of Life, I introduced the concept of the two Pillars of Serenity that keep us grounded and peaceful in our daily walk, one being your own self-esteem, the other being respect to all people. The pillar most relevant for this discussion is self-esteem. We perfectionists tend to place our value in the quality of, or others’ perception of, the quality of our work. It’s crucial to remember that your value is inherent in the fact that you exist. It’s not in any way related to the work you do.
• Settle for excellence – Even though we strive for perfection, we understand that achieving it is impossible. Therefore, it’s important to settle for and accept excellence as an alternative.
• Internal dialog – I have found that we perfectionists are some of the only people capable of stealing our own joy. Regardless of how amazing our performance might have been, we always tell ourselves, “I could have done it better.” Instead, it’s important to shift that mental dialog to something like “I did an excellent job.”
• Growth framework – You could have always “done it better” – because in truth no one is perfect. Yet, with every effort you are getting better. Perfectionists rarely, if ever, make the same mistake twice, so with every effort you are growing and improving. As long as you are growing and improving, then with every effort you are on target for that perfection you desire. Allowing yourself to be on target for perfection gives you a mental framework wherein you can always feel good about yourself. Make sure you allow yourself that mental framework.
These are some of the things I focus on to assist me in working through my perfectionism. I’m interested to hear from others. What factors help you in overcoming perfectionism paralysis?
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Take This Job and Shove It!
Take this job and shove it! This is the sentiment expressed through the actions (if not the exact words, which I will not repeat) of JetBlue Flight Attendant Steven Slater this past week. Since his dramatic, and much publicized departure from the airplane via the emergency chute, beers in hand, Slater has become a bit of a folk-hero for anyone profoundly frustrated with their job.
When thinking about writing on this subject initially, I was actually quite conflicted. Slater’s actions were unprofessional and broke several JetBlue policies as well as FAA regulations. That is nothing to condone, even if one can empathize with his feelings. On the other hand, I wondered about the passenger that allegedly sparked his tirade. Standing up and attempting to retrieve your luggage while on an active taxiway is also breaking FAA regulations. I wondered what, if anything, is being done to prosecute her? In researching this incident, I could not find any solid reporting on the passenger in question. Indeed there are many differing accounts of what actually happened before and after the flight. As someone who flies for business a great deal, I certainly have seen my share of rude, self-centric passengers – as well as fatigued, snippy flight attendants. Luckily, in my experience, both are the exception, not the norm.
This, if nothing else, is clear about this incident: neither the allegedly offending passenger nor Steven Slater was in emotional control that day. If you are not in emotional control you are completely ineffective. While it is very probable that the passenger’s behavior was inappropriate and perhaps abusive, she was not on-duty and representing a company (JetBlue), an industry and the FAA. Slater was representing all of those entities at the time. In as much, he should have taken steps to regain his emotional control before taking any action at all. His actions will probably cost him any future in aviation as well as federal prosecution. Taking a step back to think and regain his perspective could have prevented the hardship that is inevitably in his future – public sympathy not withstanding.
High Road Challenge for the Day: When you are brought to the brink of your emotional control and you feel like you just want to “take this job (this relationship, this co-worker, this committee) and shove it,” take a step back. Try some of these techniques instead:
• Breathe – When we are in stressful situations, we often forget to breathe. This creates an oxygen deprivation in the brain. Adrenalin kicks in at that point to compensate for that deprivation. The combination of oxygen deprivation and adrenalin triggers animal instinct, which manifests itself in the “fight or flight” syndrome. The best way to counteract “fight or flight” is to short-circuit the adrenalin. The quickest means to that end is to get oxygen to the brain. Breathing is the most under-appreciated and under-utilized stress reduction technique. Furthermore, it’s available to every human being for free!
• Take a break – If you find yourself hanging on to your emotional control by your very last thread, walk away from the situation. Have an exit line that works for you and remove yourself from the situation before you fall off of that emotional cliff. You might say something like, “I find that I am not objective in this situation. I need a moment to pull myself together. Let’s revisit this in ten minutes.”
• Count 10 blessings – Most people have heard the tried and true recommendation of counting to 10. I recommend you count 10 blessings. I challenge you to count 10 blessings in your life and still be emotionally aggravated. I find it works like a charm.
• Affirmation for the moment – Have an affirmation that works for you memorized and ready to kick in when things become tense. Something that will be playing in the back of your head, speaking to your subconscious, that keeps you in emotional control. It might be something like, “I am always calm and confident in stressful situations.” It might be, “Nothing this person says or does can push my buttons.” Write something that works for you. Make sure it is posed in the positive, it is present tense and spoken as if the goal is achieved. Then memorize it so you can retrieve it and play it like a looping tape in the back of your mind to keep yourself in emotional control.
Tell me, what other tactics have you found that work for you in maintaining your emotional control?
Sunday, August 8, 2010
What have you done for me lately?
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“Why should I do anything nice for her? She’s never done anything nice for me.” A participant asked this question of me this week. I was discussing the benefits of “priming the pump” – of practicing random acts of kindness.
It is a normal and natural reaction to want to offer a kindness to someone who has been nice to you or offered you a kindness. It is more challenging to do something nice for someone who has not done anything nice, or has, in fact, been difficult with you. This was the point I was making to the group this week. If someone is exhibiting difficult behavior, one exceptional tactic to turn that behavior around is to greet it with random acts of kindness. The key here is not that they will then do something nice for you in return. It is about not expecting anything in return. The focus should not be on what they do, but rather on what you do.
There is a well-worn adage communicated by that universal sage, “Mom” that specifies, “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.” That concept is so true. If you are struggling with someone, do them a favor. Do something nice for them. It will be very hard for you to remain disgruntled with them after you have sincerely and humbly done something nice for them while expecting nothing in return. My answer to the participant was, “It doesn’t matter what she had done for you. Lead by example and do something nice for her.”
This is what “priming the pump” is about: giving without thought of what you will get back. It breaks down barriers. It makes people smile and it has a tendency to be self-perpetuating.
High Road Challenge for the Day: “Prime the pump” in your office or place of business. Execute a random act of kindness. You can plan it out in advance, or let it be spontaneous.
Here are some quick ideas:
• Take an hour out of your normal routine and assist someone else with their work load.
• Buy lunch for a co-worker you know will be working over their lunch hour.
• Bring some sweets or cookies and place them anonymously in the break room.
• Physically go to all the people who really mean something to you at work and thank them. (Do this face-to-face, not by email.)
• Randomly ask someone with whom you have little interaction if you can make them a cup of tea or coffee.
These are just some ideas to get your mind rolling. I know you can come up with more terrific ideas. I would love to hear back from you. How did you “prime the pump”? What was the reaction? How did it make you feel? I will be excited to hear about it.
“Why should I do anything nice for her? She’s never done anything nice for me.” A participant asked this question of me this week. I was discussing the benefits of “priming the pump” – of practicing random acts of kindness.
It is a normal and natural reaction to want to offer a kindness to someone who has been nice to you or offered you a kindness. It is more challenging to do something nice for someone who has not done anything nice, or has, in fact, been difficult with you. This was the point I was making to the group this week. If someone is exhibiting difficult behavior, one exceptional tactic to turn that behavior around is to greet it with random acts of kindness. The key here is not that they will then do something nice for you in return. It is about not expecting anything in return. The focus should not be on what they do, but rather on what you do.
There is a well-worn adage communicated by that universal sage, “Mom” that specifies, “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.” That concept is so true. If you are struggling with someone, do them a favor. Do something nice for them. It will be very hard for you to remain disgruntled with them after you have sincerely and humbly done something nice for them while expecting nothing in return. My answer to the participant was, “It doesn’t matter what she had done for you. Lead by example and do something nice for her.”
This is what “priming the pump” is about: giving without thought of what you will get back. It breaks down barriers. It makes people smile and it has a tendency to be self-perpetuating.
High Road Challenge for the Day: “Prime the pump” in your office or place of business. Execute a random act of kindness. You can plan it out in advance, or let it be spontaneous.
Here are some quick ideas:
• Take an hour out of your normal routine and assist someone else with their work load.
• Buy lunch for a co-worker you know will be working over their lunch hour.
• Bring some sweets or cookies and place them anonymously in the break room.
• Physically go to all the people who really mean something to you at work and thank them. (Do this face-to-face, not by email.)
• Randomly ask someone with whom you have little interaction if you can make them a cup of tea or coffee.
These are just some ideas to get your mind rolling. I know you can come up with more terrific ideas. I would love to hear back from you. How did you “prime the pump”? What was the reaction? How did it make you feel? I will be excited to hear about it.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
You're not listening to me...
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“You’re not listening to me!” The conflict between two colleagues was beginning to escalate. I heard the exchange described to me in one of my sessions. “He always says that. ‘You’re not listening.’ It makes me crazy,” the participant groaned.
Because my approach to communication is a bit different than most, my recommendation to this attendee was not what he expected. I believe that our goal, as communicators, is three-fold: first, to allow all people to feel comfortable and respected in our presence, while second, standing our own ground and third, getting our message across. Most communication training comes from the opposite direction and specifies the most important factor in communication to be getting our point across – to be clear. I believe someone can clearly communicate their message and still leave “dead bodies” behind them as they do business, which is not optimum. That is why I approach it from the High Road perspective and place our primary objective on allowing all people to feel comfortable and respected in our presence, while we are standing our own ground and getting our message across.
Approaching the situation from this paradigm, my response to the participant was this: “If he is consistently saying that to you, he’s right. Because what he is really saying is, ‘I believe you are not listening to me,’ which means as a communicator, you have missed the primary objective.”
If someone says to you, “You’re not listening to me.” I recommend you discipline yourself away from the potential knee-jerk response that will most likely come out of your mouth: “Yes I am!” Instantaneously this puts you on the defensive and in an adversarial position. Instead, I encourage you to follow a High Road, three-step process to clarification.
1. Step one: Offer an empathy statement. It might be something like, “I’m sorry that you might feel that way.” Acknowledge and empathize with how the other person is feeling.
2. Step two has two possible directions:
a. If you were actually listening to them, then paraphrase back what you just heard. You might say something like, “Let me share with you what I just heard…,” or “My understanding is you meant this…” The value of reflective paraphrasing is that it allows the other person to grasp that you really did “get” what they said.
b. We have to acknowledge that sometimes, in certain situations, we really weren’t listening. If that is the case, I encourage you to admit that and take responsibility for it. “You are right. I wasn’t listening. I apologize for that. Please tell me again and I will listen attentively this time.”
3. Step three: Whichever fork in the road you take at step two, step three is the same. Ask the other person, sincerely and humbly, “What was I doing that caused you to believe I wasn’t listening to you?” Then you can fix it for future growth. Many people have habits, such as allowing their eyes to wander, doodling or scanning their Blackberry, that cause others to believe they aren’t listening. This is a terrific opportunity to recognize such habits and adjust them for growth in this area.
Sometimes when someone says, “You’re not listening to me,” what they really mean is “You’re not agreeing with me.” In such a situation, the first two steps remain the same. The only adjustment happens in step three. The direction step three would take at this point would be to clarify the difference between listening and agreeing. “I have heard and understand what you said. I don’t agree with you.” This validates the communication without having to validate the sentiment of that communication.
High Road Challenge for the Day: The next time someone says to you, “You’re not listening to me,” put this High Road, three-step process into action. This will allow the other person to feel comfortable and respected in your presence. That respect offered to them will then be reciprocated which will allow you to stand your own ground and get your message across.
“You’re not listening to me!” The conflict between two colleagues was beginning to escalate. I heard the exchange described to me in one of my sessions. “He always says that. ‘You’re not listening.’ It makes me crazy,” the participant groaned.
Because my approach to communication is a bit different than most, my recommendation to this attendee was not what he expected. I believe that our goal, as communicators, is three-fold: first, to allow all people to feel comfortable and respected in our presence, while second, standing our own ground and third, getting our message across. Most communication training comes from the opposite direction and specifies the most important factor in communication to be getting our point across – to be clear. I believe someone can clearly communicate their message and still leave “dead bodies” behind them as they do business, which is not optimum. That is why I approach it from the High Road perspective and place our primary objective on allowing all people to feel comfortable and respected in our presence, while we are standing our own ground and getting our message across.
Approaching the situation from this paradigm, my response to the participant was this: “If he is consistently saying that to you, he’s right. Because what he is really saying is, ‘I believe you are not listening to me,’ which means as a communicator, you have missed the primary objective.”
If someone says to you, “You’re not listening to me.” I recommend you discipline yourself away from the potential knee-jerk response that will most likely come out of your mouth: “Yes I am!” Instantaneously this puts you on the defensive and in an adversarial position. Instead, I encourage you to follow a High Road, three-step process to clarification.
1. Step one: Offer an empathy statement. It might be something like, “I’m sorry that you might feel that way.” Acknowledge and empathize with how the other person is feeling.
2. Step two has two possible directions:
a. If you were actually listening to them, then paraphrase back what you just heard. You might say something like, “Let me share with you what I just heard…,” or “My understanding is you meant this…” The value of reflective paraphrasing is that it allows the other person to grasp that you really did “get” what they said.
b. We have to acknowledge that sometimes, in certain situations, we really weren’t listening. If that is the case, I encourage you to admit that and take responsibility for it. “You are right. I wasn’t listening. I apologize for that. Please tell me again and I will listen attentively this time.”
3. Step three: Whichever fork in the road you take at step two, step three is the same. Ask the other person, sincerely and humbly, “What was I doing that caused you to believe I wasn’t listening to you?” Then you can fix it for future growth. Many people have habits, such as allowing their eyes to wander, doodling or scanning their Blackberry, that cause others to believe they aren’t listening. This is a terrific opportunity to recognize such habits and adjust them for growth in this area.
Sometimes when someone says, “You’re not listening to me,” what they really mean is “You’re not agreeing with me.” In such a situation, the first two steps remain the same. The only adjustment happens in step three. The direction step three would take at this point would be to clarify the difference between listening and agreeing. “I have heard and understand what you said. I don’t agree with you.” This validates the communication without having to validate the sentiment of that communication.
High Road Challenge for the Day: The next time someone says to you, “You’re not listening to me,” put this High Road, three-step process into action. This will allow the other person to feel comfortable and respected in your presence. That respect offered to them will then be reciprocated which will allow you to stand your own ground and get your message across.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Priming the Pump in the Twilight Zone
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While I was traveling home from a training swing this past week my flight was delayed out of Salt Lake City, causing me to miss my United Airlines connection in Denver. There were no other flights out that night so I was forced to lay-over until the next day. The earliest flight that had available seats to bring me home left Denver at 5:25 p.m. the next day. (Is it just me? It seems like I am always delayed and held-over at Denver Stapley airport… I am certain it is the portal to the Twilight Zone… but I digress.)
The following morning I contacted the travel department for my seminar company client to see if anything might have opened up to get me home any earlier. The travel agent was able to book me one-way on a different carrier at 2:30 p.m. That gained me three hours. I was very grateful.
I asked him why United was so heavily booked. He said, “I don’t know. It’s unusual. In fact the flight you were rebooked on is completely full now. There are no seats to be had on United out of Denver today at all.”
This got me thinking as I sat and watched people go by in the airport. United could probably use the seat I would be giving up on the 5:25 flight. I had a good 4 hours before my 2:30 flight was to board, so I headed off to find a United Customer Service counter. I stepped into line behind about 12 people and began the waiting process. Nothing happens quickly at a customer service counter and, unfortunately, everyone in line is struggling with some sort of inconvenience and therefore hovering somewhere in the grumpiness continuum. More than once I asked myself, “Why am I standing here again?” Yet I knew that I had plenty of time and nothing else I really needed to be doing, so I stayed in line. After about 35 minutes, I had inched to the front of the line.
The customer service representative, Dee, was frazzled but gracious and eager to resolve whatever issue I might have. I explained the situation to her and finished by saying, “I just wanted to let you know that I will not be on this flight at 5:25 and release the seat so you can give it to someone else.”
She worked through the whole scenario with me again several times to make sure that she was clear on how the flights had been delayed, missed and rebooked. Then she confirmed, “So you are traveling home today on a different carrier?”
“That’s right,” I said.
She seemed confused. “So what do you need from me?”
“Nothing,” I said. “I just wanted to let you know that this seat is available.”
“Do you need a refund for this leg of the trip?”
“That would be terrific. I am sure my company would appreciate that,” I replied.
“Well okay then. Let’s get that taken care of.”
She printed off the information my client would need to receive a refund for the flight I didn’t take. She gave that to me along with a second voucher. “This is a voucher for $150 off your next flight with United,” she said with a smile. “We are very sorry for your inconvenience and thank you for your courtesy today.”
Did I stand in line for 35 minutes hoping that I would receive a $150 voucher? No I didn’t. I didn’t even think to ask for compensation for my lost day. I stood in line because I know that if I were desperate to get on a fully booked flight, I would want the gate agent to know there happened to be a seat that was just released. I know that all you send into the lives of others come back into your own. It may not be immediately. It usually won't be in-kind. I stood in line to prime the pump. I was blessed to have a benefit sent back my way immediately. It doesn’t always happen so quickly, or even in a manner that is noticeable, but that doesn’t matter. Priming the pump is about the sending out, not the getting back. As it says in the old Kingston Trio folk song, Desert Pete, “you have to give of yourself before you’re worthy to receive.”
High Road Challenge for the Day: Prime the pump. Find a need and fill it. Give of yourself. Send it out without expectation of what will come back. Take a lesson from Desert Pete and give of yourself so you are worthy to receive.
While I was traveling home from a training swing this past week my flight was delayed out of Salt Lake City, causing me to miss my United Airlines connection in Denver. There were no other flights out that night so I was forced to lay-over until the next day. The earliest flight that had available seats to bring me home left Denver at 5:25 p.m. the next day. (Is it just me? It seems like I am always delayed and held-over at Denver Stapley airport… I am certain it is the portal to the Twilight Zone… but I digress.)
The following morning I contacted the travel department for my seminar company client to see if anything might have opened up to get me home any earlier. The travel agent was able to book me one-way on a different carrier at 2:30 p.m. That gained me three hours. I was very grateful.
I asked him why United was so heavily booked. He said, “I don’t know. It’s unusual. In fact the flight you were rebooked on is completely full now. There are no seats to be had on United out of Denver today at all.”
This got me thinking as I sat and watched people go by in the airport. United could probably use the seat I would be giving up on the 5:25 flight. I had a good 4 hours before my 2:30 flight was to board, so I headed off to find a United Customer Service counter. I stepped into line behind about 12 people and began the waiting process. Nothing happens quickly at a customer service counter and, unfortunately, everyone in line is struggling with some sort of inconvenience and therefore hovering somewhere in the grumpiness continuum. More than once I asked myself, “Why am I standing here again?” Yet I knew that I had plenty of time and nothing else I really needed to be doing, so I stayed in line. After about 35 minutes, I had inched to the front of the line.
The customer service representative, Dee, was frazzled but gracious and eager to resolve whatever issue I might have. I explained the situation to her and finished by saying, “I just wanted to let you know that I will not be on this flight at 5:25 and release the seat so you can give it to someone else.”
She worked through the whole scenario with me again several times to make sure that she was clear on how the flights had been delayed, missed and rebooked. Then she confirmed, “So you are traveling home today on a different carrier?”
“That’s right,” I said.
She seemed confused. “So what do you need from me?”
“Nothing,” I said. “I just wanted to let you know that this seat is available.”
“Do you need a refund for this leg of the trip?”
“That would be terrific. I am sure my company would appreciate that,” I replied.
“Well okay then. Let’s get that taken care of.”
She printed off the information my client would need to receive a refund for the flight I didn’t take. She gave that to me along with a second voucher. “This is a voucher for $150 off your next flight with United,” she said with a smile. “We are very sorry for your inconvenience and thank you for your courtesy today.”
Did I stand in line for 35 minutes hoping that I would receive a $150 voucher? No I didn’t. I didn’t even think to ask for compensation for my lost day. I stood in line because I know that if I were desperate to get on a fully booked flight, I would want the gate agent to know there happened to be a seat that was just released. I know that all you send into the lives of others come back into your own. It may not be immediately. It usually won't be in-kind. I stood in line to prime the pump. I was blessed to have a benefit sent back my way immediately. It doesn’t always happen so quickly, or even in a manner that is noticeable, but that doesn’t matter. Priming the pump is about the sending out, not the getting back. As it says in the old Kingston Trio folk song, Desert Pete, “you have to give of yourself before you’re worthy to receive.”
High Road Challenge for the Day: Prime the pump. Find a need and fill it. Give of yourself. Send it out without expectation of what will come back. Take a lesson from Desert Pete and give of yourself so you are worthy to receive.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
This is not a dress rehearsal. Be in the moment.
This week, while attending a family dinner-out, I found myself intrigued by the people at the table next to us. Their family grouping included kids, ranging in age from their twenties to the youngest at about six, and three adults. Each and every time I glanced over at their table, at least one person was talking on a cell phone. Often many of them were chatting away to invisible others. The youngest child never seemed to lift her head from the digital game she was playing to keep herself occupied. The restaurant was loud enough that their cell phone conversations were lost in the general hubbub, so it was not distracting from the dialog at our table. It was, therefore, not intrusive to me; I was simply intrigued. I thought to myself, when are they going to engage with each other?
It is apparently becoming acceptable in 21st century etiquette to chatter away on a cell phone in very public places such as restaurants, grocery stores, sidewalks and parks. It may not be verbal conversations at all; I often see people with their faces buried in their cell phones, Palms, Blackberries or iPhones as their fingers fly through abbreviated words to each other.
Recently I was in line to check out at the grocery store. I was behind a woman who was engrossed in her phone conversation. This conversation was apparently so important that she could not see her child grabbing candy off the rack and dropping it on the conveyor belt. It was engrossing enough that she could not acknowledge the cashier who was being diligent and trying to verify that the mom really wanted to purchase all the items the child was adding. Finally the cashier stopped ringing items altogether and waited for the woman to notice. This delayed my transaction, and yet I had to smile. I was not at all irritated with the cashier. She was waiting until the woman engaged herself in the moment at hand. (Had it lasted too long, I probably would have become irritated with the woman on the phone. Luckily it did not take that long.) The woman hastily wrapped up her conversation, pulled the extraneous items off the belt and paid for her groceries. Before she wheeled her cart away, I saw her stop to dial her phone.
Had the cashier not forced the issue, I am sure the woman would have carried the conversation right through the transaction – working on muscle memory – and probably would have wondered about all the extra items in her bag once she got home.
At my son’s high school commencement ceremony this past week the principal who has guided both of my children through their high school years addressed the parents and guests in attendance. He recounted a conversation he had with the graduating class as they assembled in the staging room, wherein he made them “pinky-swear.” (Yes, this man is respected and loved enough by his students that even the roughest of 18 year old boys is willing to “pinky-swear” for him.) He said, “I made them ‘pinky-swear’ that tonight – for this three hours of their lives – they will not be texting in their laps. I implored them to….” He paused and encouraged the graduates to finish his sentence for him. Roughly 450 voices chimed in with, “BE IN THE MOMENT!”
I was profoundly impressed.
Will it last? Probably not, but for that three hours of time each of the graduates fully experienced everything that was going on around them. They engaged with each other and were in the moment.
High Road Challenge for the Week: Involve yourself. I encourage you to establish standards for yourself that preclude phone calls and texting during meals and other times when conversations with people in your immediate presence can be important. Take the opportunity to fully engage with the people around you. Be in the moment.
It is apparently becoming acceptable in 21st century etiquette to chatter away on a cell phone in very public places such as restaurants, grocery stores, sidewalks and parks. It may not be verbal conversations at all; I often see people with their faces buried in their cell phones, Palms, Blackberries or iPhones as their fingers fly through abbreviated words to each other.
Recently I was in line to check out at the grocery store. I was behind a woman who was engrossed in her phone conversation. This conversation was apparently so important that she could not see her child grabbing candy off the rack and dropping it on the conveyor belt. It was engrossing enough that she could not acknowledge the cashier who was being diligent and trying to verify that the mom really wanted to purchase all the items the child was adding. Finally the cashier stopped ringing items altogether and waited for the woman to notice. This delayed my transaction, and yet I had to smile. I was not at all irritated with the cashier. She was waiting until the woman engaged herself in the moment at hand. (Had it lasted too long, I probably would have become irritated with the woman on the phone. Luckily it did not take that long.) The woman hastily wrapped up her conversation, pulled the extraneous items off the belt and paid for her groceries. Before she wheeled her cart away, I saw her stop to dial her phone.
Had the cashier not forced the issue, I am sure the woman would have carried the conversation right through the transaction – working on muscle memory – and probably would have wondered about all the extra items in her bag once she got home.
At my son’s high school commencement ceremony this past week the principal who has guided both of my children through their high school years addressed the parents and guests in attendance. He recounted a conversation he had with the graduating class as they assembled in the staging room, wherein he made them “pinky-swear.” (Yes, this man is respected and loved enough by his students that even the roughest of 18 year old boys is willing to “pinky-swear” for him.) He said, “I made them ‘pinky-swear’ that tonight – for this three hours of their lives – they will not be texting in their laps. I implored them to….” He paused and encouraged the graduates to finish his sentence for him. Roughly 450 voices chimed in with, “BE IN THE MOMENT!”
I was profoundly impressed.
Will it last? Probably not, but for that three hours of time each of the graduates fully experienced everything that was going on around them. They engaged with each other and were in the moment.
High Road Challenge for the Week: Involve yourself. I encourage you to establish standards for yourself that preclude phone calls and texting during meals and other times when conversations with people in your immediate presence can be important. Take the opportunity to fully engage with the people around you. Be in the moment.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
What can we learn from the Amazing Race?
I am an addict – I admit it. I am addicted to the television show The Amazing Race. I am not a big fan of most reality shows, but I LOVE The Amazing Race. I love seeing the different locations they travel to and the tasks teams are required to perform to get the next clue. The “detours” and “roadblocks” are never degrading and usually tied into the culture of the country or city they are in. I find it entertaining and educational simultaneously. As I have watched this show over the last 11 seasons (I didn’t discover it until season 5), I have noticed certain characteristics that separate successful teams from those that fall early in the competition. Furthermore, I believe these same characteristics are essential in our daily lives. These are the lessons I have learned from watching The Amazing Race:
Respectful communication is critical – The ability to communicate effectively and respectfully with their partner and others is perhaps the most important characteristic of successful Race teams. Every season there are a few teams that lack this essential element. Under the stress of the race (which can be extreme) these teams often spiral into petty bickering (at best) or (at worst) name calling and screaming. Forward progress usually stops until the bickering and name calling subsides. Furthermore, teams that snipe at other teams often earn a target on their back which can have calamitous results. Those teams that choose to communicate respectfully are able to avoid such delays and U-turns, and often end up in the top three, running for a million dollars.
Maintain emotional control – If you are not in emotional control, you are completely ineffective. Every season there are some classic emotional meltdowns. Again, any forward progress stops until the contestant can “pull it together” and focus back on task. This evening’s episode is a prime example. While teams were assembling a very large, 96-piece puzzle in Shanghai, China, the wind kicked up and blew puzzle pieces everywhere. While the model-team’s Brent stormed and fumed about how he had almost completed the puzzle before the wind messed it up – the cowboy-team’s, Cord went to work anchoring the remaining pieces down with folding chairs. In the “confessional” shot that aired at that moment he said, “Throwing a fit and kicking and screaming wasn’t gonna get my puzzle done.” That calm demeanor has served this cowboy team very well, as they have arrived first at the pit-stop more than any other team this season – even going from last place to first, which was the only time that has happened thus far in race history.
Pay attention to detail – Every season there are turning points when, in their haste, a team has missed an important part of their clue or instruction. Maybe they took a taxi to the pit-stop when the clue said to take the bus; or having completed the detour or road-block they have grabbed their clue and ran, forgetting their back-packs and their passports. Each time one of these teams misses an instruction they are assessed a time penalty that must be waited out before they can be checked in at the pit-stop. Many times this results in the team being eliminated. The aforementioned cowboy-team’s last place finish in leg 7 of this season happened for that reason They missed a key part of the clue and had to go back to complete the task before being checked in. Luckily for them it was a non-elimination round. The old adage of “haste makes waste” is viable here. Teams that take the time to fully read the clue over to make sure they understand all facets of the instructions do not end up with time penalties.
Maintain a positive attitude and never quit – Rarely do teams know exactly where they stand in relation to other teams during any particular leg of the race. Even if a team believes they are in last place at the time, there could very possibly be extenuating circumstances are “great equalizers” that they are not aware of. Therefore being willing to stick-to-it with a positive attitude is essential. Last season one of the strongest teams was the Harlem Globetrotter team of “Flight Time” and “Big Easy.” They were fan favorites until one of the last episodes when they made a decision to give up on a roadblock and not complete the task. This caused them to incur a 4 hour penalty and subsequently be eliminated from the race. Many times teams have worked long hours to complete a task and been retrieved from the field by the host, Phil Koeghan. The fact that they did not give up on the task until it was obvious that they were last, and therefore eliminated is admirable. Just as often teams have run to the finish line, certain that they are the last to arrive, to find out that there are other teams still behind them. The only certain way to lose the race is to quit.
Keep it all in perspective – Every season has several tasks or moments that my family refers to as “great equalizers.” Perhaps, regardless of when they leave the pit-stop (the first team to arrive is the first team to leave and therefore has a time advantage), all teams end up on the same flight to their new destination. This makes it a brand new race when the plane lands. Maybe the clue is located inside a museum that doesn’t open until 10:00 a.m. That means that whether teams arrive at the museum at midnight or 9:58 a.m. they all have to wait until the museum opens and again it is a brand new race. Great equalizers might be tasks that, for whatever reason, are incredibly difficult for the first place team, but the last place team breezes through it and catapults themselves into first. Sometimes the strongest teams have fallen to a great equalizer and there is nothing that can be done about it. As each team falls, they lose a chance to race on the final leg for a million dollars. None-the-less, they got a chance to travel the world and experience things that some of us only dream about – things that perhaps they would never have had an opportunity to experience. That is a blessing in itself. It is important to keep all things in perspective.
High Road Challenge for the Week: Our daily lives are not as adrenaline packed as the 12-15 days the teams experience on The Amazing Race. Still, these characteristics are just as critical to our daily success as they are to the Amazing Race teams. My challenge to you this week is to communicate respectfully, maintain emotional control, pay attention to detail, maintain a positive attitude, never quit and keep it all in perspective.
Respectful communication is critical – The ability to communicate effectively and respectfully with their partner and others is perhaps the most important characteristic of successful Race teams. Every season there are a few teams that lack this essential element. Under the stress of the race (which can be extreme) these teams often spiral into petty bickering (at best) or (at worst) name calling and screaming. Forward progress usually stops until the bickering and name calling subsides. Furthermore, teams that snipe at other teams often earn a target on their back which can have calamitous results. Those teams that choose to communicate respectfully are able to avoid such delays and U-turns, and often end up in the top three, running for a million dollars.
Maintain emotional control – If you are not in emotional control, you are completely ineffective. Every season there are some classic emotional meltdowns. Again, any forward progress stops until the contestant can “pull it together” and focus back on task. This evening’s episode is a prime example. While teams were assembling a very large, 96-piece puzzle in Shanghai, China, the wind kicked up and blew puzzle pieces everywhere. While the model-team’s Brent stormed and fumed about how he had almost completed the puzzle before the wind messed it up – the cowboy-team’s, Cord went to work anchoring the remaining pieces down with folding chairs. In the “confessional” shot that aired at that moment he said, “Throwing a fit and kicking and screaming wasn’t gonna get my puzzle done.” That calm demeanor has served this cowboy team very well, as they have arrived first at the pit-stop more than any other team this season – even going from last place to first, which was the only time that has happened thus far in race history.
Pay attention to detail – Every season there are turning points when, in their haste, a team has missed an important part of their clue or instruction. Maybe they took a taxi to the pit-stop when the clue said to take the bus; or having completed the detour or road-block they have grabbed their clue and ran, forgetting their back-packs and their passports. Each time one of these teams misses an instruction they are assessed a time penalty that must be waited out before they can be checked in at the pit-stop. Many times this results in the team being eliminated. The aforementioned cowboy-team’s last place finish in leg 7 of this season happened for that reason They missed a key part of the clue and had to go back to complete the task before being checked in. Luckily for them it was a non-elimination round. The old adage of “haste makes waste” is viable here. Teams that take the time to fully read the clue over to make sure they understand all facets of the instructions do not end up with time penalties.
Maintain a positive attitude and never quit – Rarely do teams know exactly where they stand in relation to other teams during any particular leg of the race. Even if a team believes they are in last place at the time, there could very possibly be extenuating circumstances are “great equalizers” that they are not aware of. Therefore being willing to stick-to-it with a positive attitude is essential. Last season one of the strongest teams was the Harlem Globetrotter team of “Flight Time” and “Big Easy.” They were fan favorites until one of the last episodes when they made a decision to give up on a roadblock and not complete the task. This caused them to incur a 4 hour penalty and subsequently be eliminated from the race. Many times teams have worked long hours to complete a task and been retrieved from the field by the host, Phil Koeghan. The fact that they did not give up on the task until it was obvious that they were last, and therefore eliminated is admirable. Just as often teams have run to the finish line, certain that they are the last to arrive, to find out that there are other teams still behind them. The only certain way to lose the race is to quit.
Keep it all in perspective – Every season has several tasks or moments that my family refers to as “great equalizers.” Perhaps, regardless of when they leave the pit-stop (the first team to arrive is the first team to leave and therefore has a time advantage), all teams end up on the same flight to their new destination. This makes it a brand new race when the plane lands. Maybe the clue is located inside a museum that doesn’t open until 10:00 a.m. That means that whether teams arrive at the museum at midnight or 9:58 a.m. they all have to wait until the museum opens and again it is a brand new race. Great equalizers might be tasks that, for whatever reason, are incredibly difficult for the first place team, but the last place team breezes through it and catapults themselves into first. Sometimes the strongest teams have fallen to a great equalizer and there is nothing that can be done about it. As each team falls, they lose a chance to race on the final leg for a million dollars. None-the-less, they got a chance to travel the world and experience things that some of us only dream about – things that perhaps they would never have had an opportunity to experience. That is a blessing in itself. It is important to keep all things in perspective.
High Road Challenge for the Week: Our daily lives are not as adrenaline packed as the 12-15 days the teams experience on The Amazing Race. Still, these characteristics are just as critical to our daily success as they are to the Amazing Race teams. My challenge to you this week is to communicate respectfully, maintain emotional control, pay attention to detail, maintain a positive attitude, never quit and keep it all in perspective.
Friday, April 16, 2010
There are Three Sides to Every Story
Because of my speaking business, I travel a great deal. Sometimes it is pleasant and exciting, sometimes it is not. I have learned over the years to go with the flow and not get too stressed about any “travel hiccups” that may occur. My traveling actually gives me an incredible opportunity to watch people.
This past week I observed a situation that brought to mind my belief that there are three sides to every story: yours, mine and the truth. While waiting to board a plane in Philadelphia I struck up a conversation with a man whose flight itinerary was identical to mine. We were both heading home to Kansas City, through Cleveland. We exchanged the pleasantries of what we each do for a living and surface level discussions of our favorite (or least favorite) sports teams. He boarded the plane before I did as I was seated in the very first row.
Once in Cleveland we ended up in step with each other again, heading for our connecting gate and he was eager to get my opinion of the flight attendant on the previous flight.
“Boy, that gal sure could have used some of your communication training, eh?”
I thought I knew what he probably meant, but I wanted to be sure. “How so?”
“Well she sure wouldn’t get a tip in a restaurant. In fact, she was a down right (expletive deleted).”
Now, this gal was not in anyway soft and cuddly to begin with. She had a heavy Brooklyn accent and her speech patterns were fast and clipped. Being farther back on the plane, though, he did not have the benefit of the knowledge I had.
Sitting as I was in the very first row, I overheard a telephone conversation the flight attendant had just before closing the cabin door. Her 16 year old son had called her – it appeared that this was his first faux pas. The conversation went downhill from there. He apparently had taken their only car to run an errand that day and something had happened to it. I am not clear on those details. The point of the conversation though was that this young man had called a friend to pick him up and left the car on the side of the road from where it was apparently towed. He had gone back with his friend to retrieve something from the vehicle and it was no longer there. He had no idea where the car was at that point.
The flight attendant was beside herself. “Do you have any IDEA what towing in the city costs? I don’t have that kind of money and neither do you.” She expressed to him, quite forcefully, that he had better find out where the car had been towed and what it was going to take to get the car back. She would call him when we landed in Cleveland and he had better have some answers by then. We commiserated a bit, she and I, about how our kids “just don’t get it” and about how tight finances are for all of us.
I shared this information with the man as we walked to our connecting gate. I said, “Can you imagine having to focus on taking care of us, while worrying about how much the towing and citation is going to cost her? I think that may have something to do with her clipped tone.”
“Wow,” he said, “I had no idea. I’d kill the kid.” (I’m sure he wasn’t serious.) “I sure hope it doesn’t cost her an arm and a leg.”
Suddenly the man had empathy for the flight attendant, rather than being so quick to label her derogatorily.
There is an old Hopi adage that my mother used to share with me: “One can’t truly know a man until he has walked a mile in that man’s moccasins.” My spontaneous traveling partner for the trip simply needed to step into the flight attendant’s shoes for a moment to be able to forgive her seemingly poor customer service.
Several of the blogs I subscribe to have recently been bemoaning poor customer service. Without a doubt, customer service is important. I would be eager to share with my colleagues (and indeed have to two of them) that the cause of that customer service may be deeper than a perceived lack of work ethic. Perhaps walking a mile in their shoes would reveal that.
There are three sides to every story. The man’s side: he received service on the flight that was surly at best. The flight attendant’s side: she was totally overwhelmed by the thought of the impending expense and her son’s incredible lack of responsibility. The truth of the matter during that flight lays somewhere between these two realities.
High Road Challenge for the Day: The next time you receive poor customer service, ask yourself the question, “What might have happened just before I arrived, that would cause this poor service?” It may need to be a hypothetical question. If convenient and appropriate, you might ask, in a respectful manner. “You know, the service I received today is not up to the standard that I have come to expect from you (this establishment). Tell me, is there something distracting you today?” Endeavor to walk a mile in their shoes so you can see the other two sides of the story.
This past week I observed a situation that brought to mind my belief that there are three sides to every story: yours, mine and the truth. While waiting to board a plane in Philadelphia I struck up a conversation with a man whose flight itinerary was identical to mine. We were both heading home to Kansas City, through Cleveland. We exchanged the pleasantries of what we each do for a living and surface level discussions of our favorite (or least favorite) sports teams. He boarded the plane before I did as I was seated in the very first row.
Once in Cleveland we ended up in step with each other again, heading for our connecting gate and he was eager to get my opinion of the flight attendant on the previous flight.
“Boy, that gal sure could have used some of your communication training, eh?”
I thought I knew what he probably meant, but I wanted to be sure. “How so?”
“Well she sure wouldn’t get a tip in a restaurant. In fact, she was a down right (expletive deleted).”
Now, this gal was not in anyway soft and cuddly to begin with. She had a heavy Brooklyn accent and her speech patterns were fast and clipped. Being farther back on the plane, though, he did not have the benefit of the knowledge I had.
Sitting as I was in the very first row, I overheard a telephone conversation the flight attendant had just before closing the cabin door. Her 16 year old son had called her – it appeared that this was his first faux pas. The conversation went downhill from there. He apparently had taken their only car to run an errand that day and something had happened to it. I am not clear on those details. The point of the conversation though was that this young man had called a friend to pick him up and left the car on the side of the road from where it was apparently towed. He had gone back with his friend to retrieve something from the vehicle and it was no longer there. He had no idea where the car was at that point.
The flight attendant was beside herself. “Do you have any IDEA what towing in the city costs? I don’t have that kind of money and neither do you.” She expressed to him, quite forcefully, that he had better find out where the car had been towed and what it was going to take to get the car back. She would call him when we landed in Cleveland and he had better have some answers by then. We commiserated a bit, she and I, about how our kids “just don’t get it” and about how tight finances are for all of us.
I shared this information with the man as we walked to our connecting gate. I said, “Can you imagine having to focus on taking care of us, while worrying about how much the towing and citation is going to cost her? I think that may have something to do with her clipped tone.”
“Wow,” he said, “I had no idea. I’d kill the kid.” (I’m sure he wasn’t serious.) “I sure hope it doesn’t cost her an arm and a leg.”
Suddenly the man had empathy for the flight attendant, rather than being so quick to label her derogatorily.
There is an old Hopi adage that my mother used to share with me: “One can’t truly know a man until he has walked a mile in that man’s moccasins.” My spontaneous traveling partner for the trip simply needed to step into the flight attendant’s shoes for a moment to be able to forgive her seemingly poor customer service.
Several of the blogs I subscribe to have recently been bemoaning poor customer service. Without a doubt, customer service is important. I would be eager to share with my colleagues (and indeed have to two of them) that the cause of that customer service may be deeper than a perceived lack of work ethic. Perhaps walking a mile in their shoes would reveal that.
There are three sides to every story. The man’s side: he received service on the flight that was surly at best. The flight attendant’s side: she was totally overwhelmed by the thought of the impending expense and her son’s incredible lack of responsibility. The truth of the matter during that flight lays somewhere between these two realities.
High Road Challenge for the Day: The next time you receive poor customer service, ask yourself the question, “What might have happened just before I arrived, that would cause this poor service?” It may need to be a hypothetical question. If convenient and appropriate, you might ask, in a respectful manner. “You know, the service I received today is not up to the standard that I have come to expect from you (this establishment). Tell me, is there something distracting you today?” Endeavor to walk a mile in their shoes so you can see the other two sides of the story.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Can you SEE it? Success is between your ears!
Several years ago I had the opportunity to interview a woman who had been crowned the Queen of Recruiting for her division in Mary Kay Cosmetics that year. That was quite an accomplishment for her – one that she had been working toward for many years. Part of her recognition at the annual awards convention was concentrated stage time for both her and her family, as well as roughly 15 carats worth of diamond jewelry. I wanted to pick her brain and find out every secret she had to share with me about achieving one’s goals.
Before we dug into the details of how she did it, I wanted to know what it felt like to be on stage and sit on that throne with 20,000 people applauding you. “It actually wasn’t that big a deal that night,” she said, “because I have ‘lived’ it so many times in my head. For over three years I have visualized every minute detail of the award’s ceremony. I knew the color of dress I would wear and how I would fix my hair. I saw myself escorted down the long stairway as a member of the top three. At the foot of the stairs, I saw myself greeted by my National Sales Director and brought down to center stage. I knew exactly what it would look like gazing out over the arena as they called the second runner-up’s name (not mine), and then the first runner-up’s name (also not mine).” She went on to share her visualization with me down to the finest detail. Then she said, “I believe that is the reason I actually achieved it – because I could see it. Of course I worked hard to get there, but equally important was the fact that I could believe it, because I could see it.”
Last week I shared with you the need for CLEAR goals. A second, equally important factor in the process of achieving those goals is the ability to visualize them. You must be able to see yourself accomplishing them. I often quote Dr. Stephen Covey, who wrote The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. With his habit number two, Covey encourages us to “begin with the end in mind.” This is so important because if you don’t know where you are going you won’t know how to get there. Furthermore, if you don’t know where you are going, you won’t know when you’ve arrived!
High Road challenge for the day: As you establish your goals, take the time to dream and conjure up a mental picture of what it will be like when you achieve it. What will it look like, feel like, sound like, and smell like? Create a mental movie for yourself, directing it the way you want it to be. You can begin broadly. Then each time you play the movie for yourself you can add detail to it. Take time every day to envision your success. Play the movie for yourself every morning, so it is the first thing your subconscious focuses on to begin your day. Play it again for yourself each night before you go to bed, so it is the last thing your subconscious focuses on before you go to sleep. Visualizing your goals as already achieved is a critical factor in actually achieving them.
Man can only receive what he sees himself receiving. - Florence Scovel Shinn
Before we dug into the details of how she did it, I wanted to know what it felt like to be on stage and sit on that throne with 20,000 people applauding you. “It actually wasn’t that big a deal that night,” she said, “because I have ‘lived’ it so many times in my head. For over three years I have visualized every minute detail of the award’s ceremony. I knew the color of dress I would wear and how I would fix my hair. I saw myself escorted down the long stairway as a member of the top three. At the foot of the stairs, I saw myself greeted by my National Sales Director and brought down to center stage. I knew exactly what it would look like gazing out over the arena as they called the second runner-up’s name (not mine), and then the first runner-up’s name (also not mine).” She went on to share her visualization with me down to the finest detail. Then she said, “I believe that is the reason I actually achieved it – because I could see it. Of course I worked hard to get there, but equally important was the fact that I could believe it, because I could see it.”
Last week I shared with you the need for CLEAR goals. A second, equally important factor in the process of achieving those goals is the ability to visualize them. You must be able to see yourself accomplishing them. I often quote Dr. Stephen Covey, who wrote The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. With his habit number two, Covey encourages us to “begin with the end in mind.” This is so important because if you don’t know where you are going you won’t know how to get there. Furthermore, if you don’t know where you are going, you won’t know when you’ve arrived!
High Road challenge for the day: As you establish your goals, take the time to dream and conjure up a mental picture of what it will be like when you achieve it. What will it look like, feel like, sound like, and smell like? Create a mental movie for yourself, directing it the way you want it to be. You can begin broadly. Then each time you play the movie for yourself you can add detail to it. Take time every day to envision your success. Play the movie for yourself every morning, so it is the first thing your subconscious focuses on to begin your day. Play it again for yourself each night before you go to bed, so it is the last thing your subconscious focuses on before you go to sleep. Visualizing your goals as already achieved is a critical factor in actually achieving them.
Man can only receive what he sees himself receiving. - Florence Scovel Shinn
Monday, March 29, 2010
Not achieving your goals? Maybe they are not CLEAR
Two weeks ago I wrote about reevaluating and recommitting to your goals as most of the nation “sprang forward” with Daylight Saving Time. Since then I have had multiple people question me on how to actually do that. So, I want to focus this week on how to set goals that are energizing and achievable.
There are many methods for establishing and working toward goals. I have found that setting CLEAR goals works best for me. CLEAR is an acronym that stands for:
Calculable
Limited time
Exact
Agreed upon
Realistic
Calculable – A goal must be easily broken down into smaller tasks and achievements that combine to create the larger objective. There have been many times in my life and career that I have established goals for myself that seemed unattainable until I broke them down into smaller, “bite-size” pieces. Broken down they are less daunting. This is achieved by taking the whole of the objective and dividing it by the time-frame you have established for achieving it. That way you create milestones for yourself annually, quarterly, monthly and weekly. If, for instance, you have a goal to achieve $100,000 in gross revenue in a year – that means you need to target roughly $8,333 per month. Breaking that down further (utilizing the IRS average of 4.4 weeks per month), you would need to target $1,894 per week. Furthermore, if you know what your average revenue per sales call is, then you could calculate how many sales calls you would need to make per week to achieve that revenue target. Break it down and make it calculable.
Limited time – A goal without a set time frame is just a dream. Determine a time by which you will achieve this objective, otherwise it is a “someday” goal, or a “get around to it” goal. I have yet to see “someday” on a calendar and “get around to it” goals rarely get gotten around to. Without a set target date there is no means by which to establish the milestones you need to make it measurable and less daunting. Often people hesitate to establish target dates for their goals for fear that if they miss the target they will have “failed.” Not so. A target is just that, a target. If you miss the target, the goal does not change – only the time frame does. Simply reset the target achievement date, recalculate the milestone dates and get back to work on the goal.
Exact – Vague goals are rarely attainable. Unless they are exact, there is nothing specific to break down into bite-size pieces. To establish a goal that you will be the “best widget salesman you can be” is setting yourself up for disappointment. There is no way to measure when you have achieved the goal. (Furthermore, I find that we never believe we are ever the best that we can be, so it is not an attainable goal.) Instead, utilizing this scenario, decide that you will exceed last year’s widget sales by X%. That is exact – something that can be measured and broken down. Look at the goals you have established for yourself and make sure they are unambiguous and clear-cut.
Agreed upon – Your goals must be in writing and shared with like-minded individuals or associates. Mary Kay Ash, the late Founder and Chairman Emeritus of Mary Kay Cosmetics often said, “the faintest ink is better than the most retentive memory.” A goal that is not in writing is too easily adjusted when the road to achieving it becomes rocky. Make sure they are written down (in ink!). You also need to share your goals with the balcony people in your life (those people who believe in you and encourage you forward to action), and give them permission to inquire about your progress. Doing so will make you more accountable for actually doing the work necessary to obtain your objective.
Realistic – I believe a goal that does not make you just a little nauseated about how you are going to get there is not a big enough goal. That having been said, your goal must be realistically obtainable with sufficient effort. If you have never been on ice skates before, to set a goal of achieving a world championship in figure skating this year is not a realistic goal. You set yourself up for failure and disappointment. The goal should not be easy, but it should be realistic. Establish a realistic goal that you feel comfortable in achieving – then stretch it to half again what you think you can achieve. That will make it obtainable and a little bit scary at the same time.
High Road challenge for the day: Examine the goals you have set for yourself. Are they calculable, limited time, exact, agreed upon, and realistic? If they fall short in any of these critical areas, tweak them to make them more attainable. Set time frames so you can break them down into measurable milestone achievements. Write them down and share them with the balcony people in your life.
“What the mind can conceive and truly believe, you can achieve.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are many methods for establishing and working toward goals. I have found that setting CLEAR goals works best for me. CLEAR is an acronym that stands for:
Calculable
Limited time
Exact
Agreed upon
Realistic
Calculable – A goal must be easily broken down into smaller tasks and achievements that combine to create the larger objective. There have been many times in my life and career that I have established goals for myself that seemed unattainable until I broke them down into smaller, “bite-size” pieces. Broken down they are less daunting. This is achieved by taking the whole of the objective and dividing it by the time-frame you have established for achieving it. That way you create milestones for yourself annually, quarterly, monthly and weekly. If, for instance, you have a goal to achieve $100,000 in gross revenue in a year – that means you need to target roughly $8,333 per month. Breaking that down further (utilizing the IRS average of 4.4 weeks per month), you would need to target $1,894 per week. Furthermore, if you know what your average revenue per sales call is, then you could calculate how many sales calls you would need to make per week to achieve that revenue target. Break it down and make it calculable.
Limited time – A goal without a set time frame is just a dream. Determine a time by which you will achieve this objective, otherwise it is a “someday” goal, or a “get around to it” goal. I have yet to see “someday” on a calendar and “get around to it” goals rarely get gotten around to. Without a set target date there is no means by which to establish the milestones you need to make it measurable and less daunting. Often people hesitate to establish target dates for their goals for fear that if they miss the target they will have “failed.” Not so. A target is just that, a target. If you miss the target, the goal does not change – only the time frame does. Simply reset the target achievement date, recalculate the milestone dates and get back to work on the goal.
Exact – Vague goals are rarely attainable. Unless they are exact, there is nothing specific to break down into bite-size pieces. To establish a goal that you will be the “best widget salesman you can be” is setting yourself up for disappointment. There is no way to measure when you have achieved the goal. (Furthermore, I find that we never believe we are ever the best that we can be, so it is not an attainable goal.) Instead, utilizing this scenario, decide that you will exceed last year’s widget sales by X%. That is exact – something that can be measured and broken down. Look at the goals you have established for yourself and make sure they are unambiguous and clear-cut.
Agreed upon – Your goals must be in writing and shared with like-minded individuals or associates. Mary Kay Ash, the late Founder and Chairman Emeritus of Mary Kay Cosmetics often said, “the faintest ink is better than the most retentive memory.” A goal that is not in writing is too easily adjusted when the road to achieving it becomes rocky. Make sure they are written down (in ink!). You also need to share your goals with the balcony people in your life (those people who believe in you and encourage you forward to action), and give them permission to inquire about your progress. Doing so will make you more accountable for actually doing the work necessary to obtain your objective.
Realistic – I believe a goal that does not make you just a little nauseated about how you are going to get there is not a big enough goal. That having been said, your goal must be realistically obtainable with sufficient effort. If you have never been on ice skates before, to set a goal of achieving a world championship in figure skating this year is not a realistic goal. You set yourself up for failure and disappointment. The goal should not be easy, but it should be realistic. Establish a realistic goal that you feel comfortable in achieving – then stretch it to half again what you think you can achieve. That will make it obtainable and a little bit scary at the same time.
High Road challenge for the day: Examine the goals you have set for yourself. Are they calculable, limited time, exact, agreed upon, and realistic? If they fall short in any of these critical areas, tweak them to make them more attainable. Set time frames so you can break them down into measurable milestone achievements. Write them down and share them with the balcony people in your life.
“What the mind can conceive and truly believe, you can achieve.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
THIS is why they call it "March Madness!"
With an improbably 3-point shot Ali Farokhmanesh secured perhaps the greatest upset in recent NCAA basketball tournament history as Northern Iowa University defeated the number one seeded University of Kansas. Just that fast, 98 percent of the brackets in America were shattered, including the one projected by President Obama. Maybe this is why they call it “March Madness” – because anything can happen.
I have found it intriguing to read the follow-up stories and see the sports broadcasts that have ensued from that upset. Here are some thoughts that have come to me through the miasma of press these past couple of days:
This "should have been" the title team.
Several sports writers have said that KU was a team all but assured of another title… Really? According to whom? I am sure that the teams still in the tournament would beg to differ. There has also been discussion of whether or not the Jayhawks were too cocky going in to this round. After the game senior Sherron Collins is quoted as saying, “We were the better team. This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Whereas an NIU forward said, “We came into the game looking at it like a basketball game. We were confident we could play our own game. There wasn’t really any special emphasis put on who we were playing.”
A title team is not a title team until they have actually earned the title. My father, “The Colonel” often said to me, “Coulda, woulda, shoulda… potential doesn’t mean a thing in the end. The only thing that matters is the score on the board when the clock ticks to zero.” NIU played better basketball, all the way to the final buzzer. It’s as simple as that.
How you deal with defeat is just as important as how you deal with success.
This team has been under an incredible microscope this week. Some of the players handled the defeat with grace, lifting their heads and giving the NIU Panthers credit for playing well and dominating the game. Others did not.
Upon being named Sportsman of the Year for 2003 by the NABC, professional bridge player Larry Cohen said in his address, “Being a good [team player] is a big part of sportsmanship. When top level players demonstrate [sportsmanship], the behavior becomes imitated by other players as well. Sportsmanship is also how you handle defeat.” He went on to close with humor, “Perhaps next year I can… give my opponents the opportunity to show how gracious and sportsmanlike they are in defeat!”
That is what the Jayhawks need to focus on right now. How are they going to get back to the tournament next year? How are they going give next year's opponents the opportunity to demonstrate sportsmanship in defeat?
If you think you’re cursed, you are.
Much has been made this week about the perceived Oklahoma City curse on the Jayhawks. Several of the past crushing and unexpected defeats KU has suffered have happened in Oklahoma City. Is it possible that there was that underlying thought running through Jayhawk brains as they played on Saturday? Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” Maybe it will take a solid victory in Oklahoma City for this foolishness about a city curse to go away. The subconscious perception of such a curse could very well have played a factor in the way the KU team played.
It’s just a game. Keeping perspective is important.
The image of KU sophomore Marcus Morris curled up in tears on the court will become iconic, I am sure. It was a crushing and surprising defeat, and yet, let’s grab some perspective here. It is not a life threatening situation. No one suffered career ending injuries. No one will lose their home, a child or a limb because of the outcome of this game. For Morris it isn’t even the last year he’ll play at KU. There will be other shots at a title for him. It’s a game. Let’s keep it in perspective.
I have found it intriguing to read the follow-up stories and see the sports broadcasts that have ensued from that upset. Here are some thoughts that have come to me through the miasma of press these past couple of days:
This "should have been" the title team.
Several sports writers have said that KU was a team all but assured of another title… Really? According to whom? I am sure that the teams still in the tournament would beg to differ. There has also been discussion of whether or not the Jayhawks were too cocky going in to this round. After the game senior Sherron Collins is quoted as saying, “We were the better team. This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Whereas an NIU forward said, “We came into the game looking at it like a basketball game. We were confident we could play our own game. There wasn’t really any special emphasis put on who we were playing.”
A title team is not a title team until they have actually earned the title. My father, “The Colonel” often said to me, “Coulda, woulda, shoulda… potential doesn’t mean a thing in the end. The only thing that matters is the score on the board when the clock ticks to zero.” NIU played better basketball, all the way to the final buzzer. It’s as simple as that.
How you deal with defeat is just as important as how you deal with success.
This team has been under an incredible microscope this week. Some of the players handled the defeat with grace, lifting their heads and giving the NIU Panthers credit for playing well and dominating the game. Others did not.
Upon being named Sportsman of the Year for 2003 by the NABC, professional bridge player Larry Cohen said in his address, “Being a good [team player] is a big part of sportsmanship. When top level players demonstrate [sportsmanship], the behavior becomes imitated by other players as well. Sportsmanship is also how you handle defeat.” He went on to close with humor, “Perhaps next year I can… give my opponents the opportunity to show how gracious and sportsmanlike they are in defeat!”
That is what the Jayhawks need to focus on right now. How are they going to get back to the tournament next year? How are they going give next year's opponents the opportunity to demonstrate sportsmanship in defeat?
If you think you’re cursed, you are.
Much has been made this week about the perceived Oklahoma City curse on the Jayhawks. Several of the past crushing and unexpected defeats KU has suffered have happened in Oklahoma City. Is it possible that there was that underlying thought running through Jayhawk brains as they played on Saturday? Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” Maybe it will take a solid victory in Oklahoma City for this foolishness about a city curse to go away. The subconscious perception of such a curse could very well have played a factor in the way the KU team played.
It’s just a game. Keeping perspective is important.
The image of KU sophomore Marcus Morris curled up in tears on the court will become iconic, I am sure. It was a crushing and surprising defeat, and yet, let’s grab some perspective here. It is not a life threatening situation. No one suffered career ending injuries. No one will lose their home, a child or a limb because of the outcome of this game. For Morris it isn’t even the last year he’ll play at KU. There will be other shots at a title for him. It’s a game. Let’s keep it in perspective.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Spring Forward
“Oh my gosh, get up! Get UP! We over-slept. I forgot to set our clocks forward last night,” my husband confessed. This is how I was roused awake this morning and why I looked just a little disheveled and out of sorts as I headed off to church this morning.
Today most of the nation “sprang forward” into Daylight Saving Time, some more gracefully than others.
The original brainchild of Benjamin Franklin, Daylight Saving Time (DST) was originally intended to “save daylight” for the evenings when people were out and working. This was a tough concept in its inception, as there was no uniformity at that time in how the nation set its clocks.
On March 19, 1918, an “Act to preserve daylight and provide standard time for the United States” was enacted by the U.S. Congress. It both established standard time zones and set summer DST to begin on March 31, 1918. It was observed for seven months in 1918 and 1919. It’s had a bumpy ride since, with each state and local government being able to establish its own standard for time and adoption of DST. Indeed, in the mid-1960s while traveling the 35 mile stretch on Route 2 between Moundsville, W.V. and Steubenville, OH, one would endure seven time changes!
In1966, Congress decided to step in once again and end the confusion. The Uniform Time Act of 1966 was signed into federal law by President Lyndon Johnson. It established DST to begin on the last Sunday of April and to end on the last Sunday in October. This act also created broader and more uniform time zones as well as a standard system of DST within each time zone throughout the U.S. and its possessions. Any state that wanted to remain exempt could do so by passing a state law. Most recently, with the Energy Policy Act of 2005 (which took effect in 2007), DST was adjusted to begin at 2:00 a.m. local time on the second Sunday in March and end at 2:00 a.m. on the first Sunday of November, which is why most of us "sprang forward" last night.
Now that we have spent our day bemoaning our missed hour of sleep and adjusting to a confused body clock, I recommend a different take on “springing forward.” Let’s take this opportunity to look forward as we spring forward. Take this time to re-evaluate the goals you established for yourself at the start of 2010. Are they still viable? Do they still make sense for your life and work’s purpose? Where are you at with them? If you are not where you want to be, or had planned on being – I recommend that you recommit to them. If they need to be adjusted or sidelined for new ones, determine what the new ones should be and put together a new plan. Rather than looking back at what you haven't accomplished since January, focus forward on corrective actions you can take.
High Road challenge for the day: Now that most of the nation has more “daylight,” refocus that daylight on your plans and take positive steps toward achieving them. Visualize the successful result of reaching those goals. Break them down into monthly, weekly and daily accomplishments necessary to get there. Write them down (again, if you already wrote them down) in ink so they are on permanent record, and share them with the balcony people (those people who believe in you and encourage you forward to action) in your life. Utilize this “spring forward” opportunity to take a quantum leap toward your goals.
And for my friends in Arizona, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, the US Virgin Islands, American Samoa and the Hopi Nation – I challenge you to do the same, even though you do not observe this biannual ritual of adjusting your clocks. :-)
Today most of the nation “sprang forward” into Daylight Saving Time, some more gracefully than others.
The original brainchild of Benjamin Franklin, Daylight Saving Time (DST) was originally intended to “save daylight” for the evenings when people were out and working. This was a tough concept in its inception, as there was no uniformity at that time in how the nation set its clocks.
On March 19, 1918, an “Act to preserve daylight and provide standard time for the United States” was enacted by the U.S. Congress. It both established standard time zones and set summer DST to begin on March 31, 1918. It was observed for seven months in 1918 and 1919. It’s had a bumpy ride since, with each state and local government being able to establish its own standard for time and adoption of DST. Indeed, in the mid-1960s while traveling the 35 mile stretch on Route 2 between Moundsville, W.V. and Steubenville, OH, one would endure seven time changes!
In1966, Congress decided to step in once again and end the confusion. The Uniform Time Act of 1966 was signed into federal law by President Lyndon Johnson. It established DST to begin on the last Sunday of April and to end on the last Sunday in October. This act also created broader and more uniform time zones as well as a standard system of DST within each time zone throughout the U.S. and its possessions. Any state that wanted to remain exempt could do so by passing a state law. Most recently, with the Energy Policy Act of 2005 (which took effect in 2007), DST was adjusted to begin at 2:00 a.m. local time on the second Sunday in March and end at 2:00 a.m. on the first Sunday of November, which is why most of us "sprang forward" last night.
Now that we have spent our day bemoaning our missed hour of sleep and adjusting to a confused body clock, I recommend a different take on “springing forward.” Let’s take this opportunity to look forward as we spring forward. Take this time to re-evaluate the goals you established for yourself at the start of 2010. Are they still viable? Do they still make sense for your life and work’s purpose? Where are you at with them? If you are not where you want to be, or had planned on being – I recommend that you recommit to them. If they need to be adjusted or sidelined for new ones, determine what the new ones should be and put together a new plan. Rather than looking back at what you haven't accomplished since January, focus forward on corrective actions you can take.
High Road challenge for the day: Now that most of the nation has more “daylight,” refocus that daylight on your plans and take positive steps toward achieving them. Visualize the successful result of reaching those goals. Break them down into monthly, weekly and daily accomplishments necessary to get there. Write them down (again, if you already wrote them down) in ink so they are on permanent record, and share them with the balcony people (those people who believe in you and encourage you forward to action) in your life. Utilize this “spring forward” opportunity to take a quantum leap toward your goals.
And for my friends in Arizona, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, the US Virgin Islands, American Samoa and the Hopi Nation – I challenge you to do the same, even though you do not observe this biannual ritual of adjusting your clocks. :-)
Monday, March 8, 2010
Open Your Parachute
I had a very interesting “small world” encounter this week as I was traveling and presenting. In Temple, TX I was approached by a woman during a break late in the afternoon. This gal had been a real spark plug in the room. She had solid eye contact, was often nodding in agreement, laughing out-loud and asking insightful questions. We appeared to be on a similar wave length. She wanted to share with me a texting exchange she had that day.
After the opening session she had sent a text to a co-worker that read, “learning lots - feel smarter already!” The response she received back read, “w/e (whatever) you had a lot to learn.”
She thought this was hysterical, coming as it was from someone who had been in my session the day before in a different city and had found the day to be a “waste of her time.”
“One of your co-workers was in my session yesterday?” I asked. “Wow, what a small world. The fact that she didn’t get anything out of it is not a good sign… What’s her name? Maybe I remember her.”
She shared the co-worker’s name with me, and I did indeed remember her. This person had sat, stone-faced all day - it almost seemed she was working aggressively to not show any expression. She made no eye contact with me, took no notes and offered no input on the brainstorming exercises. Sensing that I wasn't reaching her, I approached her at break and asked if there was anything specific that I could cover in more depth for her. “No. I’m fine,” was the response.
“Oooh, I DO remember her,” I told my Temple participant. “I don’t think she 'got' me at all. I hope the content will be helpful for her even if she didn’t care for my delivery style.”
"She doesn't ‘get’ ANYONE. She could be listening to Oprah Winfrey or Mahatma Gandhi and still not 'get' anything - so don't take it personally. I think you're great and I'm learning a lot."
It’s very possible that my delivery style was not her cup of tea - and yet, based upon the return text (“you had a lot to learn.”), it's more probable that the co-worker did not believe she had anything yet to learn. The material content and the delivery were the same in each city. The only thing that changed was the willingness of the participant to learn. One was open to growth and expanded ideas, the other was not.
I think it is Frank Zappa who originally said, “The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it’s not open.”
Once we stop learning we start dying. Don't find yourself in the same position as my energetic participant's co-worker. Make sure that your mind is always open to new thoughts, new ideas and new ways of doing something or viewing something.
High Road challenge for the day: Learn something new today. Ask a mentor an open-ended question about a recent news item that has you confused. Read a section of the newspaper you have never looked at before. Pick up a non-fiction book about someone you admire. Every day there is something new to learn and someone new to learn from. An open parachute could save your life in the right circumstances. An open mind just may do the same.
After the opening session she had sent a text to a co-worker that read, “learning lots - feel smarter already!” The response she received back read, “w/e (whatever) you had a lot to learn.”
She thought this was hysterical, coming as it was from someone who had been in my session the day before in a different city and had found the day to be a “waste of her time.”
“One of your co-workers was in my session yesterday?” I asked. “Wow, what a small world. The fact that she didn’t get anything out of it is not a good sign… What’s her name? Maybe I remember her.”
She shared the co-worker’s name with me, and I did indeed remember her. This person had sat, stone-faced all day - it almost seemed she was working aggressively to not show any expression. She made no eye contact with me, took no notes and offered no input on the brainstorming exercises. Sensing that I wasn't reaching her, I approached her at break and asked if there was anything specific that I could cover in more depth for her. “No. I’m fine,” was the response.
“Oooh, I DO remember her,” I told my Temple participant. “I don’t think she 'got' me at all. I hope the content will be helpful for her even if she didn’t care for my delivery style.”
"She doesn't ‘get’ ANYONE. She could be listening to Oprah Winfrey or Mahatma Gandhi and still not 'get' anything - so don't take it personally. I think you're great and I'm learning a lot."
It’s very possible that my delivery style was not her cup of tea - and yet, based upon the return text (“you had a lot to learn.”), it's more probable that the co-worker did not believe she had anything yet to learn. The material content and the delivery were the same in each city. The only thing that changed was the willingness of the participant to learn. One was open to growth and expanded ideas, the other was not.
I think it is Frank Zappa who originally said, “The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it’s not open.”
Once we stop learning we start dying. Don't find yourself in the same position as my energetic participant's co-worker. Make sure that your mind is always open to new thoughts, new ideas and new ways of doing something or viewing something.
High Road challenge for the day: Learn something new today. Ask a mentor an open-ended question about a recent news item that has you confused. Read a section of the newspaper you have never looked at before. Pick up a non-fiction book about someone you admire. Every day there is something new to learn and someone new to learn from. An open parachute could save your life in the right circumstances. An open mind just may do the same.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
"Sharpen the Saw" - Getting Rid of the Clutter
I'm so excited! I have just spent the most productive two days – cleaning. (I know, you are wondering how anyone could be excited about cleaning…) I'm serious! I finally took time to clear my office of all the baggage I'd been hanging on to from my previous venture. (It’s only been six years!) I tossed procedure manuals from the mid-nineties and training sessions on cassette tape. (I don’t even own a cassette player anymore!) I cleared files that I haven’t looked at in six years, warranties for equipment that I don’t own anymore, stickers intended to go on prize posters I no longer have and monthly newsletters dating back to 1996.
I reclaimed the space for my current business, and somehow it seems that I can suddenly breathe and think clearly about where I'm going and how to proceed with my goals. I have space to work and blossom. That is why cleaning can be so exciting!
In his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Steven Covey has listed those habits that he has found in common among highly successful people and ways that every one of us can emulate those same behaviors. The seventh of those habits encourages us to “sharpen the saw.” In as much as he encourages us to include specific time in our schedules for what he calls "balanced self-renewal." Periodically we have to regain what he calls “production capability” by taking time out for ourselves.
While Covey recommends recreational activities, I believe sometimes a good liquidation is cathartic and does the trick. I have found that physical clutter creates emotional clutter. Sometimes sharpening the saw involves taking the time to clear the clutter - physically, emotional and mental. Having taken the time to do this myself, now I can focus on those things that will keep me on the High Road and take High Road Solutions where I want it go. I can concentrate on how to reach more people and therefore have a stronger impact.
I encourage you to do the same. Is there clutter that is preventing you from being as productive and focused as you could be? Are there things you are tripping over time and again because you refuse to see it or deal with it? Is it physical clutter that needs to be gone through and purged? Is it emotional baggage that is preventing you from fully committing to the High Road with both feet? Is it mental haziness that can be clarified through mind-mapping or further research? Taking the time to recognize these and clear them out will be a big step toward increasing your "production capability."
High Road challenge for the day: Identify the sources of clutter in your life’s endeavors and “sharpen the saw.” Do so by liquidating, tossing, filing and streamlining - so that you can think clearly again and regain the High Road clarity you need to be productive and have the strongest impact.
I reclaimed the space for my current business, and somehow it seems that I can suddenly breathe and think clearly about where I'm going and how to proceed with my goals. I have space to work and blossom. That is why cleaning can be so exciting!
In his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Steven Covey has listed those habits that he has found in common among highly successful people and ways that every one of us can emulate those same behaviors. The seventh of those habits encourages us to “sharpen the saw.” In as much as he encourages us to include specific time in our schedules for what he calls "balanced self-renewal." Periodically we have to regain what he calls “production capability” by taking time out for ourselves.
While Covey recommends recreational activities, I believe sometimes a good liquidation is cathartic and does the trick. I have found that physical clutter creates emotional clutter. Sometimes sharpening the saw involves taking the time to clear the clutter - physically, emotional and mental. Having taken the time to do this myself, now I can focus on those things that will keep me on the High Road and take High Road Solutions where I want it go. I can concentrate on how to reach more people and therefore have a stronger impact.
I encourage you to do the same. Is there clutter that is preventing you from being as productive and focused as you could be? Are there things you are tripping over time and again because you refuse to see it or deal with it? Is it physical clutter that needs to be gone through and purged? Is it emotional baggage that is preventing you from fully committing to the High Road with both feet? Is it mental haziness that can be clarified through mind-mapping or further research? Taking the time to recognize these and clear them out will be a big step toward increasing your "production capability."
High Road challenge for the day: Identify the sources of clutter in your life’s endeavors and “sharpen the saw.” Do so by liquidating, tossing, filing and streamlining - so that you can think clearly again and regain the High Road clarity you need to be productive and have the strongest impact.
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