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Because of my speaking business, I travel a great deal. Sometimes it is pleasant and exciting, sometimes it is not. I have learned over the years to go with the flow and not get too stressed about any “travel hiccups” that may occur. My traveling actually gives me an incredible opportunity to watch people.
This past week I observed a situation that brought to mind my belief that there are three sides to every story: yours, mine and the truth. While waiting to board a plane in Philadelphia I struck up a conversation with a man whose flight itinerary was identical to mine. We were both heading home to Kansas City, through Cleveland. We exchanged the pleasantries of what we each do for a living and surface level discussions of our favorite (or least favorite) sports teams. He boarded the plane before I did as I was seated in the very first row.
Once in Cleveland we ended up in step with each other again, heading for our connecting gate and he was eager to get my opinion of the flight attendant on the previous flight.
“Boy, that gal sure could have used some of your communication training, eh?”
I thought I knew what he probably meant, but I wanted to be sure. “How so?”
“Well she sure wouldn’t get a tip in a restaurant. In fact, she was a down right (expletive deleted).”
Now, this gal was not in anyway soft and cuddly to begin with. She had a heavy Brooklyn accent and her speech patterns were fast and clipped. Being farther back on the plane, though, he did not have the benefit of the knowledge I had.
Sitting as I was in the very first row, I overheard a telephone conversation the flight attendant had just before closing the cabin door. Her 16 year old son had called her – it appeared that this was his first faux pas. The conversation went downhill from there. He apparently had taken their only car to run an errand that day and something had happened to it. I am not clear on those details. The point of the conversation though was that this young man had called a friend to pick him up and left the car on the side of the road from where it was apparently towed. He had gone back with his friend to retrieve something from the vehicle and it was no longer there. He had no idea where the car was at that point.
The flight attendant was beside herself. “Do you have any IDEA what towing in the city costs? I don’t have that kind of money and neither do you.” She expressed to him, quite forcefully, that he had better find out where the car had been towed and what it was going to take to get the car back. She would call him when we landed in Cleveland and he had better have some answers by then. We commiserated a bit, she and I, about how our kids “just don’t get it” and about how tight finances are for all of us.
I shared this information with the man as we walked to our connecting gate. I said, “Can you imagine having to focus on taking care of us, while worrying about how much the towing and citation is going to cost her? I think that may have something to do with her clipped tone.”
“Wow,” he said, “I had no idea. I’d kill the kid.” (I’m sure he wasn’t serious.) “I sure hope it doesn’t cost her an arm and a leg.”
Suddenly the man had empathy for the flight attendant, rather than being so quick to label her derogatorily.
There is an old Hopi adage that my mother used to share with me: “One can’t truly know a man until he has walked a mile in that man’s moccasins.” My spontaneous traveling partner for the trip simply needed to step into the flight attendant’s shoes for a moment to be able to forgive her seemingly poor customer service.
Several of the blogs I subscribe to have recently been bemoaning poor customer service. Without a doubt, customer service is important. I would be eager to share with my colleagues (and indeed have to two of them) that the cause of that customer service may be deeper than a perceived lack of work ethic. Perhaps walking a mile in their shoes would reveal that.
There are three sides to every story. The man’s side: he received service on the flight that was surly at best. The flight attendant’s side: she was totally overwhelmed by the thought of the impending expense and her son’s incredible lack of responsibility. The truth of the matter during that flight lays somewhere between these two realities.
High Road Challenge for the Day: The next time you receive poor customer service, ask yourself the question, “What might have happened just before I arrived, that would cause this poor service?” It may need to be a hypothetical question. If convenient and appropriate, you might ask, in a respectful manner. “You know, the service I received today is not up to the standard that I have come to expect from you (this establishment). Tell me, is there something distracting you today?” Endeavor to walk a mile in their shoes so you can see the other two sides of the story.
Showing posts with label sharpen the saw. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sharpen the saw. Show all posts
Friday, April 16, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Not achieving your goals? Maybe they are not CLEAR
Two weeks ago I wrote about reevaluating and recommitting to your goals as most of the nation “sprang forward” with Daylight Saving Time. Since then I have had multiple people question me on how to actually do that. So, I want to focus this week on how to set goals that are energizing and achievable.
There are many methods for establishing and working toward goals. I have found that setting CLEAR goals works best for me. CLEAR is an acronym that stands for:
Calculable
Limited time
Exact
Agreed upon
Realistic
Calculable – A goal must be easily broken down into smaller tasks and achievements that combine to create the larger objective. There have been many times in my life and career that I have established goals for myself that seemed unattainable until I broke them down into smaller, “bite-size” pieces. Broken down they are less daunting. This is achieved by taking the whole of the objective and dividing it by the time-frame you have established for achieving it. That way you create milestones for yourself annually, quarterly, monthly and weekly. If, for instance, you have a goal to achieve $100,000 in gross revenue in a year – that means you need to target roughly $8,333 per month. Breaking that down further (utilizing the IRS average of 4.4 weeks per month), you would need to target $1,894 per week. Furthermore, if you know what your average revenue per sales call is, then you could calculate how many sales calls you would need to make per week to achieve that revenue target. Break it down and make it calculable.
Limited time – A goal without a set time frame is just a dream. Determine a time by which you will achieve this objective, otherwise it is a “someday” goal, or a “get around to it” goal. I have yet to see “someday” on a calendar and “get around to it” goals rarely get gotten around to. Without a set target date there is no means by which to establish the milestones you need to make it measurable and less daunting. Often people hesitate to establish target dates for their goals for fear that if they miss the target they will have “failed.” Not so. A target is just that, a target. If you miss the target, the goal does not change – only the time frame does. Simply reset the target achievement date, recalculate the milestone dates and get back to work on the goal.
Exact – Vague goals are rarely attainable. Unless they are exact, there is nothing specific to break down into bite-size pieces. To establish a goal that you will be the “best widget salesman you can be” is setting yourself up for disappointment. There is no way to measure when you have achieved the goal. (Furthermore, I find that we never believe we are ever the best that we can be, so it is not an attainable goal.) Instead, utilizing this scenario, decide that you will exceed last year’s widget sales by X%. That is exact – something that can be measured and broken down. Look at the goals you have established for yourself and make sure they are unambiguous and clear-cut.
Agreed upon – Your goals must be in writing and shared with like-minded individuals or associates. Mary Kay Ash, the late Founder and Chairman Emeritus of Mary Kay Cosmetics often said, “the faintest ink is better than the most retentive memory.” A goal that is not in writing is too easily adjusted when the road to achieving it becomes rocky. Make sure they are written down (in ink!). You also need to share your goals with the balcony people in your life (those people who believe in you and encourage you forward to action), and give them permission to inquire about your progress. Doing so will make you more accountable for actually doing the work necessary to obtain your objective.
Realistic – I believe a goal that does not make you just a little nauseated about how you are going to get there is not a big enough goal. That having been said, your goal must be realistically obtainable with sufficient effort. If you have never been on ice skates before, to set a goal of achieving a world championship in figure skating this year is not a realistic goal. You set yourself up for failure and disappointment. The goal should not be easy, but it should be realistic. Establish a realistic goal that you feel comfortable in achieving – then stretch it to half again what you think you can achieve. That will make it obtainable and a little bit scary at the same time.
High Road challenge for the day: Examine the goals you have set for yourself. Are they calculable, limited time, exact, agreed upon, and realistic? If they fall short in any of these critical areas, tweak them to make them more attainable. Set time frames so you can break them down into measurable milestone achievements. Write them down and share them with the balcony people in your life.
“What the mind can conceive and truly believe, you can achieve.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are many methods for establishing and working toward goals. I have found that setting CLEAR goals works best for me. CLEAR is an acronym that stands for:
Calculable
Limited time
Exact
Agreed upon
Realistic
Calculable – A goal must be easily broken down into smaller tasks and achievements that combine to create the larger objective. There have been many times in my life and career that I have established goals for myself that seemed unattainable until I broke them down into smaller, “bite-size” pieces. Broken down they are less daunting. This is achieved by taking the whole of the objective and dividing it by the time-frame you have established for achieving it. That way you create milestones for yourself annually, quarterly, monthly and weekly. If, for instance, you have a goal to achieve $100,000 in gross revenue in a year – that means you need to target roughly $8,333 per month. Breaking that down further (utilizing the IRS average of 4.4 weeks per month), you would need to target $1,894 per week. Furthermore, if you know what your average revenue per sales call is, then you could calculate how many sales calls you would need to make per week to achieve that revenue target. Break it down and make it calculable.
Limited time – A goal without a set time frame is just a dream. Determine a time by which you will achieve this objective, otherwise it is a “someday” goal, or a “get around to it” goal. I have yet to see “someday” on a calendar and “get around to it” goals rarely get gotten around to. Without a set target date there is no means by which to establish the milestones you need to make it measurable and less daunting. Often people hesitate to establish target dates for their goals for fear that if they miss the target they will have “failed.” Not so. A target is just that, a target. If you miss the target, the goal does not change – only the time frame does. Simply reset the target achievement date, recalculate the milestone dates and get back to work on the goal.
Exact – Vague goals are rarely attainable. Unless they are exact, there is nothing specific to break down into bite-size pieces. To establish a goal that you will be the “best widget salesman you can be” is setting yourself up for disappointment. There is no way to measure when you have achieved the goal. (Furthermore, I find that we never believe we are ever the best that we can be, so it is not an attainable goal.) Instead, utilizing this scenario, decide that you will exceed last year’s widget sales by X%. That is exact – something that can be measured and broken down. Look at the goals you have established for yourself and make sure they are unambiguous and clear-cut.
Agreed upon – Your goals must be in writing and shared with like-minded individuals or associates. Mary Kay Ash, the late Founder and Chairman Emeritus of Mary Kay Cosmetics often said, “the faintest ink is better than the most retentive memory.” A goal that is not in writing is too easily adjusted when the road to achieving it becomes rocky. Make sure they are written down (in ink!). You also need to share your goals with the balcony people in your life (those people who believe in you and encourage you forward to action), and give them permission to inquire about your progress. Doing so will make you more accountable for actually doing the work necessary to obtain your objective.
Realistic – I believe a goal that does not make you just a little nauseated about how you are going to get there is not a big enough goal. That having been said, your goal must be realistically obtainable with sufficient effort. If you have never been on ice skates before, to set a goal of achieving a world championship in figure skating this year is not a realistic goal. You set yourself up for failure and disappointment. The goal should not be easy, but it should be realistic. Establish a realistic goal that you feel comfortable in achieving – then stretch it to half again what you think you can achieve. That will make it obtainable and a little bit scary at the same time.
High Road challenge for the day: Examine the goals you have set for yourself. Are they calculable, limited time, exact, agreed upon, and realistic? If they fall short in any of these critical areas, tweak them to make them more attainable. Set time frames so you can break them down into measurable milestone achievements. Write them down and share them with the balcony people in your life.
“What the mind can conceive and truly believe, you can achieve.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Monday, March 8, 2010
Open Your Parachute
I had a very interesting “small world” encounter this week as I was traveling and presenting. In Temple, TX I was approached by a woman during a break late in the afternoon. This gal had been a real spark plug in the room. She had solid eye contact, was often nodding in agreement, laughing out-loud and asking insightful questions. We appeared to be on a similar wave length. She wanted to share with me a texting exchange she had that day.
After the opening session she had sent a text to a co-worker that read, “learning lots - feel smarter already!” The response she received back read, “w/e (whatever) you had a lot to learn.”
She thought this was hysterical, coming as it was from someone who had been in my session the day before in a different city and had found the day to be a “waste of her time.”
“One of your co-workers was in my session yesterday?” I asked. “Wow, what a small world. The fact that she didn’t get anything out of it is not a good sign… What’s her name? Maybe I remember her.”
She shared the co-worker’s name with me, and I did indeed remember her. This person had sat, stone-faced all day - it almost seemed she was working aggressively to not show any expression. She made no eye contact with me, took no notes and offered no input on the brainstorming exercises. Sensing that I wasn't reaching her, I approached her at break and asked if there was anything specific that I could cover in more depth for her. “No. I’m fine,” was the response.
“Oooh, I DO remember her,” I told my Temple participant. “I don’t think she 'got' me at all. I hope the content will be helpful for her even if she didn’t care for my delivery style.”
"She doesn't ‘get’ ANYONE. She could be listening to Oprah Winfrey or Mahatma Gandhi and still not 'get' anything - so don't take it personally. I think you're great and I'm learning a lot."
It’s very possible that my delivery style was not her cup of tea - and yet, based upon the return text (“you had a lot to learn.”), it's more probable that the co-worker did not believe she had anything yet to learn. The material content and the delivery were the same in each city. The only thing that changed was the willingness of the participant to learn. One was open to growth and expanded ideas, the other was not.
I think it is Frank Zappa who originally said, “The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it’s not open.”
Once we stop learning we start dying. Don't find yourself in the same position as my energetic participant's co-worker. Make sure that your mind is always open to new thoughts, new ideas and new ways of doing something or viewing something.
High Road challenge for the day: Learn something new today. Ask a mentor an open-ended question about a recent news item that has you confused. Read a section of the newspaper you have never looked at before. Pick up a non-fiction book about someone you admire. Every day there is something new to learn and someone new to learn from. An open parachute could save your life in the right circumstances. An open mind just may do the same.
After the opening session she had sent a text to a co-worker that read, “learning lots - feel smarter already!” The response she received back read, “w/e (whatever) you had a lot to learn.”
She thought this was hysterical, coming as it was from someone who had been in my session the day before in a different city and had found the day to be a “waste of her time.”
“One of your co-workers was in my session yesterday?” I asked. “Wow, what a small world. The fact that she didn’t get anything out of it is not a good sign… What’s her name? Maybe I remember her.”
She shared the co-worker’s name with me, and I did indeed remember her. This person had sat, stone-faced all day - it almost seemed she was working aggressively to not show any expression. She made no eye contact with me, took no notes and offered no input on the brainstorming exercises. Sensing that I wasn't reaching her, I approached her at break and asked if there was anything specific that I could cover in more depth for her. “No. I’m fine,” was the response.
“Oooh, I DO remember her,” I told my Temple participant. “I don’t think she 'got' me at all. I hope the content will be helpful for her even if she didn’t care for my delivery style.”
"She doesn't ‘get’ ANYONE. She could be listening to Oprah Winfrey or Mahatma Gandhi and still not 'get' anything - so don't take it personally. I think you're great and I'm learning a lot."
It’s very possible that my delivery style was not her cup of tea - and yet, based upon the return text (“you had a lot to learn.”), it's more probable that the co-worker did not believe she had anything yet to learn. The material content and the delivery were the same in each city. The only thing that changed was the willingness of the participant to learn. One was open to growth and expanded ideas, the other was not.
I think it is Frank Zappa who originally said, “The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it’s not open.”
Once we stop learning we start dying. Don't find yourself in the same position as my energetic participant's co-worker. Make sure that your mind is always open to new thoughts, new ideas and new ways of doing something or viewing something.
High Road challenge for the day: Learn something new today. Ask a mentor an open-ended question about a recent news item that has you confused. Read a section of the newspaper you have never looked at before. Pick up a non-fiction book about someone you admire. Every day there is something new to learn and someone new to learn from. An open parachute could save your life in the right circumstances. An open mind just may do the same.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
"Sharpen the Saw" - Getting Rid of the Clutter
I'm so excited! I have just spent the most productive two days – cleaning. (I know, you are wondering how anyone could be excited about cleaning…) I'm serious! I finally took time to clear my office of all the baggage I'd been hanging on to from my previous venture. (It’s only been six years!) I tossed procedure manuals from the mid-nineties and training sessions on cassette tape. (I don’t even own a cassette player anymore!) I cleared files that I haven’t looked at in six years, warranties for equipment that I don’t own anymore, stickers intended to go on prize posters I no longer have and monthly newsletters dating back to 1996.
I reclaimed the space for my current business, and somehow it seems that I can suddenly breathe and think clearly about where I'm going and how to proceed with my goals. I have space to work and blossom. That is why cleaning can be so exciting!
In his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Steven Covey has listed those habits that he has found in common among highly successful people and ways that every one of us can emulate those same behaviors. The seventh of those habits encourages us to “sharpen the saw.” In as much as he encourages us to include specific time in our schedules for what he calls "balanced self-renewal." Periodically we have to regain what he calls “production capability” by taking time out for ourselves.
While Covey recommends recreational activities, I believe sometimes a good liquidation is cathartic and does the trick. I have found that physical clutter creates emotional clutter. Sometimes sharpening the saw involves taking the time to clear the clutter - physically, emotional and mental. Having taken the time to do this myself, now I can focus on those things that will keep me on the High Road and take High Road Solutions where I want it go. I can concentrate on how to reach more people and therefore have a stronger impact.
I encourage you to do the same. Is there clutter that is preventing you from being as productive and focused as you could be? Are there things you are tripping over time and again because you refuse to see it or deal with it? Is it physical clutter that needs to be gone through and purged? Is it emotional baggage that is preventing you from fully committing to the High Road with both feet? Is it mental haziness that can be clarified through mind-mapping or further research? Taking the time to recognize these and clear them out will be a big step toward increasing your "production capability."
High Road challenge for the day: Identify the sources of clutter in your life’s endeavors and “sharpen the saw.” Do so by liquidating, tossing, filing and streamlining - so that you can think clearly again and regain the High Road clarity you need to be productive and have the strongest impact.
I reclaimed the space for my current business, and somehow it seems that I can suddenly breathe and think clearly about where I'm going and how to proceed with my goals. I have space to work and blossom. That is why cleaning can be so exciting!
In his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Steven Covey has listed those habits that he has found in common among highly successful people and ways that every one of us can emulate those same behaviors. The seventh of those habits encourages us to “sharpen the saw.” In as much as he encourages us to include specific time in our schedules for what he calls "balanced self-renewal." Periodically we have to regain what he calls “production capability” by taking time out for ourselves.
While Covey recommends recreational activities, I believe sometimes a good liquidation is cathartic and does the trick. I have found that physical clutter creates emotional clutter. Sometimes sharpening the saw involves taking the time to clear the clutter - physically, emotional and mental. Having taken the time to do this myself, now I can focus on those things that will keep me on the High Road and take High Road Solutions where I want it go. I can concentrate on how to reach more people and therefore have a stronger impact.
I encourage you to do the same. Is there clutter that is preventing you from being as productive and focused as you could be? Are there things you are tripping over time and again because you refuse to see it or deal with it? Is it physical clutter that needs to be gone through and purged? Is it emotional baggage that is preventing you from fully committing to the High Road with both feet? Is it mental haziness that can be clarified through mind-mapping or further research? Taking the time to recognize these and clear them out will be a big step toward increasing your "production capability."
High Road challenge for the day: Identify the sources of clutter in your life’s endeavors and “sharpen the saw.” Do so by liquidating, tossing, filing and streamlining - so that you can think clearly again and regain the High Road clarity you need to be productive and have the strongest impact.
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